After our last class at Heguru, the parents were given a short video presentation from Mr Henmi. The subject matter he covered is nothing new but extremely important if we want our children to benefit from our teachings. It is the connection between love, relationship with your child, and knowledge. Far too often, parents jump straight to knowledge without ensuring that the first two requirements are met – love and the relationship with the child. Without meeting the first two requirements, the amount of knowledge that our children can absorb is limited and the process is inefficient.
As I said, this is nothing new because we know babies need love to learn and that it is the most important element to the successful implementation of right brain education. However, I think it is important to constantly remind ourselves because it is too easy to get caught up trying to impart knowledge to our children and forget to make sure our relationship with our children is strong and that they feel loved. It is also easy to overlook the importance of love and relationship.
Providing knowledge without meeting our children’s love and relationship requirements is like trying to build a house without a proper foundation. You can still build the house, but without a proper foundation, it crumbles easily and is not a strong structure.
Many parents take the trouble to send their children for right brain classes and other early childhood development programs. The fact that they have done so clearly indicates how much they love their children and how important their children are to them. But remember that this expression of love is not necessarily one our children recognise. Many parents love their children but if you ask those children, they may reply that their parents do not love them or that they do not love them that much. This is very likely because their parents have not communicated their love adequately or used a language that their children understand.
Mr Henmi talked about the importance of physical contact with our children. Providing lots of hugs and skin to skin contact is important. I also remember reading somewhere (perhaps it was Bright from the Start – I cannot recall now) a study on how much physical contact people need from others on a daily basis. They found that the need for physical contact does not decrease as we get older. What they also discovered, unfortunately, was that as our children grow older, they often receive less and less physical contact from their parents. The need for physical contact isn’t less, but somehow parents just offer less of it. As to why this is so, perhaps because they feel their children don’t want it. When asked, the children responded that they still wanted the physical contact from their parents but they just didn’t ask for it. And when they didn’t get it from their parents, teenagers would turn to members of the opposite sex to get the physical contact they needed.
Someone once said to me that children can still learn even if they didn’t feel loved. That is true – the left brain doesn’t need it to learn. The right brain, however, does. And if you want to open up the functions of the right brain, it is important that your child feels loved. If you want to see the results of right brain education, concentrate on developing your relationship with your child first.
This subject has probably been discussed to death and you’re probably thinking, “Yeah, yeah, I know this.” It is a topic that requires revisitng because it is so important. If there is one part of the mix that we’re going to get wrong, this is usually it – not because we don’t love our children, but because we fail to adequately express it to our children.