The Ambivalence of Being Pregnant

It looks like being a pregnant Mum the second time around has not made me immune to those silly pregnant fears about how the baby is doing…

Yesterday morning, I woke up feeling fairly normal – there were no symptoms of that low grade nausea associated with pregnancy.  Gavin was nursing and my nipples weren’t tender.  Suddenly, I started to doubt if I really was pregnant.  Or worse, I had been pregnant and somehow miscarried without realising it (okay, I know it’s not called a miscarriage this early on in the pregnancy, but you know what I mean).

The day I took the Clear Blue home pregnancy test, hubby had also bought me a test kit (great minds think alike!) so I had a spare test kit in the bathroom.  I took the test again and panicked when the line didn’t show up immediately.  Even when it began to show up, ever so faintly, I wanted to ask hubby for a second opinion if he thought it was a second line or if I was just imagining it.  However, it darkened shortly after and the second opinion was no longer required.

It is ironic that just the night before I was hoping for an easier pregnancy with minimal symptoms.  Now that the symptoms appeared to be gone I wanted them back if only to reassure myself that I was really pregnant.  They returned fairly quickly as the day progressed, much to my discomfort.  Ahh, the ambivalence of being pregnant…

Perhaps I just need that confirmation from the doctor to be sure.  Well, I tried to make an appointment with Dr Wong Sum Keong (my former obstetrician) only to discover that the earliest appointment I can get with him was in the middle of the following week!  Wow!  The economy might be headed for a downturn but the business of making babies certainly isn’t!  Nevertheless, he was an excellent doctor and I wouldn’t dream of going to anyone else.

In the meantime, I have my symptoms to reassure me that I really am pregnant.  For though I made that promise to spend more time doing fun and exciting things with Gavin, I find myself waking up feeling rather lethargic and not at all like doing anything, let alone anything fun and exciting.  To be honest, I wake up feeling like crawling back into bed and sleeping until it’s time to deliver the new baby – except that Gavin won’t let me. Either he senses that something is changing and is reverting back to one of his phases or he’s just due for another one of those phases because he’s been wanting more and more of my attention of late.

All the plans I made – places that I was going to show Gavin – have been shelved in favour of non-activity or short activities that don’t require too much.  Already I’m short changing Gavin…

Anyone have any ideas about what are some great activities to do with a toddler or places to see that don’t require too much effort on the part of the parent?

Babylicious

Published by Shen-Li

SHEN-LI LEE is the author of “Brainchild: Secrets to Unlocking Your Child’s Potential”. She is also the founder of Figur8.net (a website on parenting, education, child development) and RightBrainChild.com (a website on Right Brain Education, cognitive development, and maximising potentials). In her spare time, she blogs on Forty, Fit & Fed, and Back to Basics.

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