The Household COO

Tomorrow is Deepavali, a major Hindhu festival also known as the “festival of lights”.  I received the following story in my mailbox from a friend which brought a smile to my face.  I hope you enjoy it, too…

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says, ‘I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage… and that much misery is enough!’

‘Dad, what are you talking about?’ the son screams.

‘We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,’ the old man says.

‘We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!’

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

‘Like heck they’re getting divorced,’ she shouts, ‘I’ll take care of this.’

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, ‘You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??’ and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. ‘Okay’, he says, ‘It’s all set. They’re both coming for Deepavali and paying their own airfare!!’

…because, let’s face it - we all need it once in a while.

Following is an old joke I remembered which I thought was rather amusing.  It came about because one of hubby’s ex-Uni mates was coming to town and the hubby was going to be entertaining him.  Being an old friend from Uni - the days of pub crawls and partying all night - he automatically fell under the category of “undesirable” companions.

It is ironic how friends that used to be “fun” back in the days of Uni can become unsavoury once one is married and supposedly responsible for the family.  That said, T seems to have cleaned up pretty well and taken a full 180 degree change from what hubby remembers of him from Uni, so perhaps he might just cross over to the “acceptable” companions category after all…

I digress… so here’s the joke:

A man comes home one night roaring drunk.  The next morning, he finds his clothes neatly pressed and a warm breakfast waiting for him. 

Confused, he asked his son what happened the previous night when he got home.

His son replied, “You came home drunk but when Mum tried to undress you, you screamed, ‘Get away from me woman!  I’m already married!’”

I recently received a letter from AmBank inviting me to take up their “pre-approved” platinum card.  There was nothing stated on the credit limit, although I’ve always been made to believe that platinum cards have a higher limit compared to the gold cards which are already above the regular limits of normal credit cards.  Firstly, I’m surprised they got my mailing details because I moved in with my in laws last year and never bothered to change my mailing address with anyone.  Secondly, I have never dealt with AmBank - ever - which poses the question: how did they find me?

In the letter, they stated that all I had to do was fill out the form and fax it back to them and I would get my credit card.  I wonder if I would still get the credit card if I wrote:

Occupation: Homemaker
Income: $0

I was almost tempted to do it just to see their reaction…

Considering I have a friend whose basic income was considered “too low” for her to be accepted for a credit card (even though she earns a lot more if you count her commissions), it seems ironic that they could send a letter like this to someone they have no history of (I have never banked with AmBank or had a credit card with them before) and “pre-approve” their credit card application.  Even if they had a history of me with my working income, a lot of things can change in a few years.  The last time I received a pre-approved credit card was from MayBank.  But considering I had an account with them, at least they had some record of me and some inkling of what my finances were like.

And people wonder why they pay so much in bank fees…

Something funny for the ladies that I received through email…

I remember hearing this quoted some time ago but I forget the source. How is this for a bit of light humour for the day?

“A dog is a man’s best friend” while “Diamond’s are a girl’s best friend”. Do you even have to wonder who is smarter?

Yes, it’s another one of those guys versus gals thing but it’s all in good fun.