The Household COO

Cheng Beng is the Chinese equivalent to “All Souls’ Day”. Up until this year, all I knew about Cheng Beng was that it was a time of the year where everyone visited their dead relatives. My colleagues would talk about it and what I gleaned about it was what I heard.

Graveyards would be choc full of “visitors” and roads would be jammed all the way to the entrance. It was a necessary duty to “clean up” the grave and bring flowers - or at least, that’s what I thought it was all about.

The date for Cheng Beng this year was April 5, I think - I’m not sure if it’s always April 5 because the Chinese Lunar calendar changes every year. Everyone is given a two week interval during which they should visit the graves of relatives resting in peace.

In the few days before my new extended family made the regular procession to the grave site, preparation of certain foods were required. These are foods such as red buns, local sweets, cakes, a roast pig, meats, and various other things. I don’t know if there is a significance to the type of food prepared or simply that they happen to be favourites of the deceased, regardless, it was a lot of work involved.

The clan congregated in Taiping (at least I think it was Taiping) early in the day for a hearty breakfast before proceeding to the graveyard. At the entrance of the graveyard, there is a little temple where everyone is supposed to burn some incense and put it into the incense pots.

Before the wedding, the hubby and I had an agreement that the only ritual I would actively participate in would be the one performed on the wedding day. Thereafter, I would assist in food preparation and setting up, but I would not bow down before any altars or light any incense sticks.

There was some awkwardness when one of hubby’s cousins handed me some incense sticks. I wonder if I looked like a wounded animal because I felt my eyes widen in surprise. Almost instinctively, my hand reached out to take it but at the same time, my eyes were searching the group for my hubby in a silent question. It was perhaps a good thing that hubby was nearby for he intercepted almost immediately and stated matter of factly that I wasn’t participating.

I think I was the only one present who was merely an observer and did not participate in any of the activities because nobody else seemed to have any issues with the practices.

I was warned that I could not call out names while we were in the graveyard because there a belief that the spirits will follow (read: haunt?) the person whose name has been spoken. Since it was their belief, I abided by this “rule”.

We drove in further and food was laid out before the grave sites and everyone took turns to “pray” before the grave. Some of the uncles would kneel down and touch their foreheads to the ground in a sign of deepest respect.

I was asked to bow down as well, but I found it in breach of the agreement we had. I didn’t protest, I merely feigned deafness to the request - a skill my mother is particularly adept at. Since no one commented, I presume there was no further issue.

Instead, while everyone went about their business, I busied myself by taking photos of the unusual ornaments that decorated the grave.

I often see statues of the dog with a gold ball in its mouth. I don’t know the significance, but it’s prevalent in many Buddhist temples. Yes, that ugly statue you see in the picture below is really a dog and not some lion creature…

After the prayers, colour paper were scattered over the grave head. I don’t know the purpose of this, but I noted that it was only the menfolk that performed this duty and it was done only for the first two graves that we visited.

The fireworks often used during Chinese New Year were laid out for decorative purposes, although we did light one later. I believe it is to scare away evil spirits? Or is this reason only pertinent during Chinese New Year?

Burning of gold or silver colour pieces of paper appears to be the thing to do with any festival. Mounds of paper folded up into the shape of money used during the olden days are lit in a massive bonfire.

This was just me trying to be creative as I approached the next grave site that we visited:

After the lighting of the fireworks, we returned to the site of the first graveyard where everyone made a feast out of the food that was prepared. From a Christian’s perspective, I suppose this constitutes the consumption food that has been sacrificed, but I have learned to relax the rules for the sake of harmony - God forgive me if this is a sin.

The whole event was over by midday.

• Oh Heathens!
• My Wedding

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