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Last Saturday, I attended B’s surprise birthday party and caught up with the rest of the Posers for the first time in too long. There were a lot of new faces in the group – some climbers, some not. It was nice to catch up with everyone again and to reminisce about the old days, but it was also kind of embarrassing.

When some of the A and W introduced me to K, they went on about my 7A achievements in climbing. As proud as I am with what I achieved through my climbing, I like to think I’m honest enough to feel embarrassed when I’m made out to be a better climber than I really am.

Listening to A and W, you would think I was a 7A climber. Well, the fact is, I have projected and red-pointed 3 7As, but that’s all I’ve done. By definition, a 7A climber is someone who can approach a 7A route and have a good chance of completing it. In other words, they generally climb at the level of 7A. Even at the best of my climbing, I was climbing at about a 6B on a good day and a 6A on a bad day.

Why the nit-picking about what I could and couldn’t climb? Because I find that I can only feel proud about what I can achieve when it’s the truth. I feel like a cheat and a liar to allow myself to be made out to be more than I am. At a time when it has become ever more important for me to remember the best of what I had been in order to believe that there has been at least some personal fulfilment in my life, it is important for me to have a clear grip on the facts and the fiction.

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Anthony Robbins believes that one of the steps on the road to success is to create your own magnificent obsession.  While on the road to climbing a 7A, I did just that…  I created an obsession out of rock climbing.  If you really want to nail that project route, here are some tips on how you can send it.

You have to walk, talk, eat, breathe, dream climbing in everything that you do.  That means climbing anything and everything possible.  Even the pedestrian crossing:

Any walls that look remotely climbable (read: as long as it has some sort of feature) you should attempt to climb it:

Never mind if it belongs to a Salsa Club - just as long as nobody comes out to chase you away, you’re good.  Don’t worry about the passerbys either.  A little performance pressure won’t hurt you.

Although it’s probably better if it isn’t and I’m sure you can find something at your local park’s obstacle course that you can practice on.

When it rains and you can’t climb, the beams in the shelter you’re taking cover under make an excellent project to practice your campus power. 

Although a more conventional approach would be to practice on some monkey bars at a park:

Or any weird structure hanging out of nowhere.  As long as you can create some rule that everyone has to follow, you’re good to go.

Climb anything that looks interesting, even if passengers on the train yell at you as if you’re crazy and they think you’re going to kill yourself.  Hey, you’re the climber - you know perfectly well what’s safe and what’s not.

Beach boulders are fantastic as long as you don’t fall and maul yourself on the rough edges.

In fact, any boulder you can find is fair game.

When there aren’t enough ropes or belayers to go around, practice climbing trees.  It’s unconventional, but I’m sure you’ll be learning something.

Climb even after dark.  You really have to squeeze every last climbable hour out of your weekend unless you can get a full time job climbing.

Climb even after a hang over from the night before.  That way, you’ll have a good excuse for your mates even if you can’t send an easy route.

Spend all your birthdays at the crag.  Your friends will think up all sorts of crazy schemes to make you climb just to get your present.

Like make you climb barefoot…

Practice balancing - it’s good for your climbing, really!  Poles like the one in the photo below are great.  The first one to fall off is a rotten egg.

If you don’t have those, a canopy walk’s about the next best thing you can try.

Or one of these lacky band thingos:

Practice your pinch power on a set of scales.

Practice dyno-ing across a chasm - using a rope of course! We’re crazy, yes, but not suicidal!

Travel all day by train,

van,

and boat to get to the climbing mecca in Asia - Krabi. 

Spend Christmas, New Year and every public holiday climbing.  Climb until you miss all your dinner dates, when nobody but your climbing buddies will ever want to plan dinner with you ever again.

And that’s how you get good enough to climb a 7A…

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Excerpt from my journal entry dated 27 July 2003:

Went over to check out Nasa and crew on the right hand side and they let me try this 7A climb. The crux was in the first moves of the route and it was SO hard! I couldn’t even get up with all of them helping me. There were hardly any holds and the holds that were there were small crimps and not very positive at all.

One day, I am going to climb 7s. I know I promised myself that I would be on to 6Cs by year end and I’m still working the 6A/6Bs but I’ll be content if I’m attempting 6Cs by year end and comfortably climbing 6Bs. This is my target (despite half the year being gone).

This entry recorded my first attempt to climb “Stupid with Manners” on top rope. Somewhere between February and July the following year, I red-pointed it. By the time 2004 began, I still hadn’t nailed my first 6C. Ironically, I got my redpoint on my first 6C “Oxymoron” in two attempts. The first was a freepoint (clean on top rope), the second was the redpoint.

My dream began with the affirmation: “one day, I am going to climb 7s”. I set a goal for my first 6C for year end and even though I didn’t achieve it, I got my first 6C early in the following year and my first 7A shortly after that. I don’t even know where or how the sudden improvement came, but it did. It was like the moment I had decided that I was going to do this, the foundation for achieving that ultimate goal was set. This is one of my own personal testimonials of The Secret at work in my life.

Yes, I realise I’m turning this blog into a sort of mini shrine to my climbing days, but hey, I have to have something to show my kid how cool his Mummy was when she was young… Here are some pictures of myself working on “Stupid with Manners”. These are the only photos I have of me on a “7″. You’d think I’d have taken more photos…

Working the crux.

Still working it.

Topping out of the crux.

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Below is an account I wrote after my red-point on Chess (located in the area called “Shieldtox” at Nyamuk, Batu Caves).

Ironically, I never wrote about my red point on “Stupid with Manners”. I can’t even remember the date that it happened, but it took place sometime between “Pear” and “Chess”. PA said to me once, “When you get your first one, the rest will come quickly.” I suppose he was right to an extent because I never expected to complete “Stupid with Manners” and “Chess” so quickly after “Pear”.

I do remember a time when I attempted a top-rope of “Stupid with Manners”. The attempt was such a fiasco that with all the tight rope and assistance I received, I still couldn’t make it to the first bolt. I remember writing about that experience. I will post it up when I find it. For the time being, here is my account on “Chess”.

Saturday 3 July 2004

Saturday saw the completion of “Chess”. My third ascent on lead completed the red-point. This also makes it my third 7A, although there appears to be some discussion among the climbers whether the route is truly a 7A. I guess I ought to be used to that by now. The dissension on route grades always seems to crop up after I succeed in red-pointing a route. It seems both “Pear” and “Stupid with Manners”, the two 7A-graded other routes I’ve red-pointed, are being considered for downgrade to 6C.

Whatever… I don’t really care to argue over the grade of a route. For me, the achievement in my head and it is mine and mine alone. Before I even had it, I saw it a thousand times in my dreams – the way I move on the rock, where each move flows into the next. There’s a certain consistency in the movements and a meditative understanding of balance between mind and body. My mind encapsulates total focus on the texture of the rock beneath my fingers, the positioning of my body, the clarity with which the features protrude from the surface.

For all the successes and failures I have encountered on the wall, I believe there must always be a time for reflection on the progress of the journey from the day I took my first step. If I do not, I know I will feel frustrated by the apparent lack of achievement and that will kill progress. Focus is great, but the occasional pat on the back does wonders as well.

I’ve never done well in sports at school. I was always the last person picked for the team during Physical Education class. I would always pray fervently that the ball would never come in my direction because chances are, I wouldn’t be able to catch it. I was the classical example of the nerd in movies. Having developed my climbing as far as I have has done a lot for my mind - being able to embody the image of sporting excellence through climbing is the realisation of a dream.

Most of all, I have seen the power of a dream that I desire with all my heart. This is the definition of life - when each day is lived with this intense passion, an all-consuming thirst that keeps me going. Perhaps, also, in some ways it’s destructive because the hollowness after the completion is just as intense. It’s like the end to a purpose in life. I must have this steady stream of projects that I pursue just to satisfy that fire inside. If the fire goes out, I die with it. I may never really understand it, but I know what I have to do to keep it going.

With the conclusion of “Chess”, I felt a sudden emptiness I could not fill. I needed something else to occupy me just as one would throw another log into the fire before its dying embers blow out completely. “Chess” came more easily than I’d imagined. A part of me expected it to take a lot longer because of the powerful moves at the roof, but I knew I had in the bag when I got the free-point. It was only the matter of a mind game between me and the red-point.

As much as I would like to believe that I have not taken my drive for success into climbing, I know I have. That single-minded craving for success has entered even this aspect of my life – the part that should have been reserved purely for pleasure alone.

A friend, colleague and mentor said something of me and I believe he is right. I will never escape the need to feel challenged. I may want to believe that all I seek in life are simple pleasures and sunny afternoons, but in reality, the mind keeps churning and yearning for something more.

Sadly, I never got a picture of myself climbing “Chess”, but here’s a shot of Sharin at the roof crux which I stole from Rock Climbing. I was using it as my visual inspiration to help me complete the red-point.

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Below is an entry I wrote the day I red pointed my first 7A. It was a route called “Pear“, so dubbed because the route setter claimed the first ascent after eating a pear. The only pity is that I never took any photos, so all I have is a written account by me on what it felt like. Pear is located in the area called “Shieldtox” at Nyamuk, Batu Caves.

As I read through what I wrote, I can still feel the ecstasy of that day. The only two routes I wrote about in the my entry below that I never completed were Foreign Investment (7B) and November 61 (6C). November 61 because I never went back to Whitewall again since red pointing Pear. Foreign Investment because I was fading out of the rock climbing scene by the time I had deemed myself worthy to attempt such a route.

Saturday 21 February 2004

Today, I red-pointed “Pear”. The day started out as any normal ordinary weekend day. I felt excited about going out to climb because I’d been thinking about “Pear” non-stop throughout the whole week.

When we arrived at Nyamuk, Super Mei, Lil’ Mei and Leong were already there. Sim and I warmed up on “Bangsar Babes Backdrop” and then I felt ready to try “Pear”. I felt good all the way up to the start of the crux, I felt good to go, but I ruined it when I hesitated after getting the upside-down smiley. I suddenly thought of back tracking and repositioning my feet, then when my foot slipped, I lost my head and asked Sim for tight rope. I tried again two more times after hanging, but I knew the effort wasn’t there. I wasn’t really trying, so I asked Sim to dirt me.

I had pretty much written off the thought of the red-point today because it seemed clear that my mind wasn’t ready. I ended up trying “Le Futur” with Leong. I struggled on that route – my right third and fourth finger were hurting. That was also one of the reasons, I wasn’t confident to do “Pear” today – but I think I was just making excuses for myself. I found “Le Futur” pumpy, but I think my confidence was shot when my right hand wasn’t feeling strong.

Struggle, struggle, pant, pant… and finally made it up after a good bit of hanging and some tight rope from Leong. Felt really disappointed with that. I’m going to come back and work that route. It’s definitely a good route to work on my endurance on.

By that time, I was convinced that I would have to hold “Pear” for another day when Adi rocked up. Actually, it probably started from Leong’s pep-talk about the fear of falling. I was describing what I was saying to myself when I was attempting the lead and he said that I was thinking too hard about falling that’s why I can’t climb. I need to forget about falling and just climb.

When Adi arrived, he asked me to belay him on “Stigmata” – the 7B project he’s been working on. He took a whipper two moves from the anchor – I think it hurt emotionally more than it did physically. I thought he was in pain at first. When I lowered him off, he encouraged me to try “Pear” again.

I ummed and ahhed and made excuses about my right hand, but he was persistent in his encouragement. We taped up my two fingers and I went up. He belayed me. I fell after clipping in the crux clip because I couldn’t find my “L-shaped” hold. Strange that this hold has always been clear as daylight to me when I was on top rope and suddenly when I needed it most it disappeared from sight. I hung and then went up the rest of the way. I chalked the hold on the way down and rested for a bit again.

Adi gave “Stigmata” another shot, but he missed a hold halfway up just as Patrick rocked up. We sat and chatted for a while, I ate some bread, and then my inspiration encouraged me to go again. I went up and this time I made it. Once I got passed the pimple and was holding the good side pull, I knew I was home, but perhaps I was over-confident, because I did the last section slightly differently. I still made it, but I know I made it harder for myself than it really needed be. When I touched that jug above the stalagtite, I knew I’d made it. I wanted to scream for joy but I didn’t want to accidentally fall off two steps away from my moment of success.

At the anchor, I couldn’t stop the delight resounding in my head. I gave the wall my customary kiss before being lowered off.

After that, Adi nailed “Stigmata”. To be honest, he had it from the start. I’m not even sure why he didn’t make it the first time.

Patrick said that now he had more stuff to write at rockclimbing.com. He seems convinced that I am the first Malaysian female ascent on a 7, but I’m sure it is either Super Mei or Kak Lily. Whatever the case, it’s the first one done in a helmet.

They keep asking what I’m going to climb now, but I haven’t decided. I keep thinking it should be “Stupid with Manners” but they were suggesting “Chess” and “Foreign Investment” and stuff like that. Patrick keeps saying that the next 7 will come more quickly. I guess I have plenty of routes to work on:

- “Le Futur”

- “Stupid with Manners”

- “Rules of Attraction”

- “November 61″

Then I might think about trying “Chess” or “Foreign Investment”.

I’ve been reading “The Mind Gym” and I think it’s been a great help to my climbing. There are particular chapters that reinforce that I’ve been doing the right things to achieve my goals. There are also some chapters that seem to be written about me – like “Permission to Win” –I feel like I’ve been the beginner climber for such a long time that I’m suddenly over conscious of the attention and I’m not sure whether I should be succeeding.

As much I enjoy the attention, I find I’m also feeling pressured by it. I keep saying I don’t want to be any different from before, but I have to acknowledge the fact that I’m not the same person anymore. Yet at the same time, I need to hold on to the roots that I started from to remind myself where I came from. I cannot take for granted the effort it took to get here. It’s the dedication, determination, desire and most of all, the discipline that will keep me on track for that 7C I keep dreaming about.

“Pear” for me was like how the second pitch of “Monsoon” used to be for me. I was so scared to lead that at one point and now it’s so easy. One day, I’m going to come back and climb “Pear” and I’m going to feel the same thing I do now about “Monsoon”.

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