Pro-Sports

A couple of nights ago, I was having a Christmas party at my place and the conversation shifted to accidents in rock climbing. Someone recalled an incident at Comic Wall where our infamous Fearless Leader decked after missing the bolt at the crux of “Parang Butas”. We couldn’t recall who the belayer was (although if it wasn’t for her, we suspect that Fearless wouldn’t have walked away with just a few scratches).

After scanning through my archives, I found the following trip report detailing that particular incident we talked about. It was written by our resident, straight-faced joker, Simian Boy, complete with tongue-in-cheek. It also included the name of the belayer we couldn’t remember.

I’ve always wondered if the climber is safe when clipping into the 2nd and 3rd bolts on the climbs that we do, since an extra meter or two of slack has been pulled up to bring the rope to the runner.

This question was answered yesterday by … you guessed it … our Lai “Climbing Cult Icon” Yong Kong. He fell off the third bolt of a 6B climb at Comic Wall and hit the ground after failing to clip in. Don’t worry, he’s fine.

Here’s what I think happened, but this is all pieced together in retrospect, so if you want the first person account, you know who to ask…

“Shameless Leader” pulled up enough slack to meet the runner, but I think in his exhaustion and haste, decided to grab the runner with two (three?) fingers of his rope hand (his right hand - not his most dextrous). With a big part of his weight already on that clenched fist, he was unable to move a finger to clip the rope in. His left hand then attempted a rescue operation and went for his backup sling at a speed that would have left Clint Eastwood dead in his cowboy boots but alas, unfortunately for “He-Who-Went-CM”, the carabiner was screwed shut. DOH! With his right hand getting more pumped by the second, it was beat-the-clock with the screwgate biner. He didn’t make it!

…

Fortunately for “Mister Dive Monkey”, the fall was cushioned by his head (Don’t that try at home. Please!). He got away with just a few scratches, a big bruise on his nogging and another mention in the history archives.

Actually, the rope must have slowed him down quite a lot too although you wouldn’t have been able to tell just watching the fall. He hit the ground faster than Adrian could say the F-word. The belayer Joanne was bomber though, and kept the rope locked in nicely despite the huge jolt, so that must have been a tremendous help.

Of course, the fall was merely a life-threatening one which, as we all know, isn’t quite enough to put “Fearless” out of action. He was back on the wall after some rest and some food and conquered that climb without incident the second time around. He even did an

equipment rescue climb on a 6C to end the day. If that isn’t true grit, I don’t know what the hell is.

All in all, a good scare on what I thought was a good climbing day, pending some head x-rays.

Lessons learned: Actually I don’t know what we are learning from this except … Lai you lucky prick, you always climb so fast and I’m not going to ask you to slow down because I know I’d have a better chance getting cows to quit grass. Just please don’t get yourself into that kind of situation again where you have to make rushed decisions on lead. Very scary, if not for you, then at least for us. When we think back about it now, it seems you had so many options but of course with only like 5 seconds to think, there are fewer options. I hope you see the virtues of being the tortoise in some of these situations.

And also you might want to get your head checked. Um, no I don’t mean you have some screws loose in there (that goes without saying), but just get it checked by a doctor because it’s good to be sure you’re okay. Then we can all start joking about this.

Oh wait, we already are.

Phew!!!

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