Accidents, Emergencies and a Swallowed Coin

Two evenings ago, Hercules swallowed a coin. In spite of all our best intentions to make sure there are no hazards for our children around the house, the older they grow, the more resourceful they become, and the harder it is to keep the house “safe”. Of course, having a child like Hercules also increases the risk of these incidences happening. As is it, this was not his first visit to the hospital but the third – the first was when he cut his brow and the second was when he had dengue. You would never expect something like this with Aristotle because he never put foreign objects into his mouth and he never did anything “dangerous”.

What happened?

Hercules was tired and hungry so I served him dinner early. He ate a large bowl of Niku Udon. When he finished, he said he was still hungry, so I gave him a bowl of strawberries for dessert. He was done by 6pm. Aristotle hadn’t eaten so I sat Hercules in front of the TV for an episode or Tom and Jerry, thinking to put him straight to bed after I served Aristotle his dinner.

Just as I was coming out of the kitchen, I heard Hercules coughing. It sounded like he was choking on something. I rushed to him and brought him to the sink and tried to help him get whatever it was out. I asked him what he put in his mouth (since he was long done with any food) and he finally answered, “A coin.”

I write this all very calmly now that Hercules is safe and well, but I assured you, I was anything but calm that night. I should also add that we do not leave coins lying around and there were definitely no coins around the living area. I only discovered later (upon questioning Hercules after we got back from the hospital and all was well again) that he climbed a stool to access a drawer where Daddy kept his spare change. Just when we thought it should be getting easier, we are reminded that the older kids are more resourceful – it’s much harder to keep them from danger because they go in search for it.

I tried to get Hercules to throw up the coin but all that came out where the noodles from dinner and the strawberries. After a while, Hercules calmed down and it seemed like everything was back to normal. I thought perhaps the coin had made it down to his stomach. I called the hospital and my brother (non-practicing medical doctor – long story that one) for advice. We ended up heading to the hospital to A&E (accidents and emergency) for a chest x-ray even though we thought it made it to the stomach. It turns out it was just as well we checked because this was where the coin really was:

Since it was fairly high up, the ENT was called to come in and get it out. According to the ENT, it was mostly likely a 20 sen coin (roughly the size of an Aussie 10 cent) because he has never had to pull out anything smaller as they usually make it to the stomach. He didn’t think it was a 50 either because those are usually too large for a child of Hercules’ age to swallow. In fact, just from the way he talked about it, swallowed coins seemed to be a common occurrence. It was really no different to a swallowed fish bone, except that it was usually easier to remove without complications.

He did a laryngoscopy which he says usually takes about 2 minutes. Because Hercules is a child and children struggle, he had to go under a GA. So the big commotion was really getting him prepped and putting him under. By the time the procedure was over, it was pretty late, so Hercules has to stay overnight for monitoring and recovery.

The doctor said that there was a slight cut on his throat which meant that he might have trouble eating or drinking. If we were concerned, we should not have been. Once Hercules knew that the coin was out, he wasted no time tucking into his breakfast. Lunch was a big bowl of noodles and dinner was a healthy serve of Bah Ku Teh. His return home was so uneventful it was as if the whole incident had never happened. The only thing that tells us it really did happen was the X-ray, the hospital bill, and this souvenir:

I realised that I was actually quite unprepared for an accident like this. No matter how “safe” you keep your house, it is always best to know what to do in the event of an emergency. So I looked up some pointers for a refresher on choking…

What do you do if something goes down your child’s throat?

1. Assess the danger

  • can your child breathe?
  • is your child in distress?
  • is your child coughing, wheezing, crying?
  • is your child silent and turning red or blue?
  • do you know what your child swallowed? Some items can cause damage – batteries, pins, etc.

2. Help your child dislodge the object

  • your child needs to be in a position with his head lower than his body
  • thump your child’s back
  • in an older child, encourage the coughing as it can help to dislodget the object; don’t put your fingers down the back of his throat, you might push the object further in
  • See: Infant First Aid for Choking for babies

3. Take your child to the A&E department of the hospital

Some sites say it’s okay to adopt a watch and wait if your child is not in distress and see if it comes out in his poop. I say bugger that, just go to the hospital and get the chest x-ray to see where it is. And if you don’t know what the object is, you need to find out if it’s dangerous to leave it there. If it’s in the stomach and the object is relatively harmless, then you’ll just need to wait until it comes out in the poop within the next couple of days. Of course, if it doesn’t, then you’ll need to go back to the doctor’s to have it removed because it is obviously having trouble being eliminated.

The real danger of swallowing an object is if it is not in the stomach. You need to know whether it’s stuck somewhere along the way down or if it entered the lungs. In either case, it needs to be removed because it can cause an infection and serves as a blockage.

The reason why I say just go to the hospital even if your child doesn’t appear to be in distress is because some children might be like Hercules – they don’t appear to be in distress even though the coin is stuck. Based on Hercules’ reaction, we all thought it was already in the stomach. The X-ray was merely a formality to confirm that fact. Lucky we checked…

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Finding Your Child’s Element

Ever since Aristotle was little, he has had a very good concentration span. He could sit down to an activity and stay with it for a significant amount of time. Hercules, on the other hand, looked like a child with ADD in comparison. He would bounce from activity to activity, never staying long enough to see it through to the end. I confess that I had become fearful that the only thing that could hold his attention for any significant amount of time was a screen… Well, okay, that’s not entirely true either because Hercules can spend hours at a playground and in a swimming pool but neither of these activities are practical if we need to be indoors. For instance, how do I keep him busy when I need to cook?

Then I discovered the power of play doh with a child like Hercules. Although we have various play doh sets around the house, I confess I have been reluctant to bring them out because Hercules has a penchant for making a huge mess out of anything he plays with. He once found a tub of play doh and managed to open it by himself. For a change, he had been silent for a really long time until I started to worry about what might have happened to him. When I found him, he was industriously smearing his play doh onto every square inch of my glass-topped table. Kids… even when they’re quiet you need to worry about what they’re up to.

So I finally braved the mess issue and gave Hercules a free reign with his play doh…

The chef has been busy cooking all morning... The feast should be delicious!

My I-can’t-focus-on-anything-for-very-long child spent the entire morning cooking up a storm with his play doh. I’m certain he would have spent the whole afternoon there if I hadn’t pulled him away for lunch. I thought perhaps it was a rare occurrence because he doesn’t usually get to play with play doh, but he has consistently been asking for play doh. Whenever I do take it out, I am the one who has to tell him it’s time to stop.

So there you go… if you feel your child has a short attention span, perhaps you just haven’t found that element which ignites his passion.

Sometimes, without intending to, we are the barriers that block our children’s paths. I’ve written before about how easy it is to get caught up in wanting something for your child more than your child wants it. For instance, you’ve always wanted to play the piano but never had the chance to learn as a child. Now you’re determined to give your child music lessons. At first your child is excited. Music lessons are fun. The teacher is encouraging because your child shows promise. You get excited and your excitement carries you way ahead of your child. Instead of encouraging your child’s interest in music, you’ve unwittingly squashed it.

The example above is the exact opposite. Instead of overtaking our children’s enthusiasm for a particular interest, we allow our dislike for that interest get in the way of our children’s pursuits. In this case, it isn’t that I dislike play doh. I dislike the mess it creates and the cleaning up that I’ll have to do after. Because of that, I’ve been discouraging the boys from playing with play doh instead of encouraging their interest. Another example might be a child who likes to pretend he’s playing the drums. Can you imagine the awful racket that he makes? It’s enough to give you a migraine to last you until New Year.

I realise that molding play doh and banging on pretend drums probably seem insignificant but you can extrapolate it to something bigger, like a career. Similar to this example, our biases may mean that we discourage our children’s aspirations for certain careers that we don’t like. It isn’t just pushing our children to do things that can be detrimental. Holding them back from pursuing their dreams can be just as bad.

So what are some interests that you really dislike? Are you unwittingly preventing your child from pursuing that interest? Something to think about.

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Cross-cultural Parenting – Now There’s a Thought…

Those of you who read this blog know my feelings about corporal punishment. After reading enough of the evidence against it, especially its ineffectiveness, I must confess I was very surprised to read in Nurture Shock that corporal punishment was actually an effective disciplinary method among African-Americans. The reason for this was because:

In the black community, spanking was seen as something that every kid went through.  It was accepted as the norm.  In the white community, spanking was taboo and saved only for the worst offenses; it usually involved a parent who was very angry with the child and had lost his temper.  The message this conveyed to the child was something akin to: “what you have done is so deviant that you deserve a special punishment, which is spanking.”  In other words, children react more to their parents’ reactions than they do to the argument or the physical discipline.

That got me thinking about something else… the whole Chinese Tiger parenting methods. Similar to how corporal punishment worked for the African-Americans because that was the norm, Tiger parenting methods may actually work better in Asian communities because it is the norm. Let me explain…

Children will compare. They speak to their friends and they gripe about their parents. But if they all have a similar upbringing, then the way they are treated at home will seem as no different to the way their friends are treated. They may complain, they may share their pain, but everyone feels more or less the same. In the African-American community, a kid might tell his friend he got spanked for misbehaving and his friend would echo with a similar incident of being spanked for misbehaviour. In the Chinese community, a kid might tell his friend that his parents got really angry that he only scored a B for a test and his friend would echo a similar incident of performing below parental expectations.

So what went wrong for Amy Chuah? I believe it is the mixing of cultures. As I said, children will compare. If their friends do not endure the same hardships they do, they may start to question the parenting methods of their own parents – “My friend’s Dad is pleased when he gets a “B” so why are my parents freaking out?” Obviously not every child will respond the same way – some children will accept it while others will fight it. How each child responds depends on so many different factors – temperament, personality, environment, expectations…

It’s a tough generation to parent – we know so much more than our parents did but so do our children. A typical child of today will be exposed to so much more than we ever were. And with all the cross-cultural exposure, there is no longer a “norm”. No one can tell you what works best for your family but you. They can make suggestions, they can make inferences, they can quote studies, and they can point out trends, but at the end of the day, the uniqueness of your family can make it all relevant or squat.

That said, I still don’t think corporal punishment or Tiger parenting is for me. It might work for you, or it might not. I guess it just goes to show that nothing in life is ever really a “sure thing”. Perhaps just the awareness of this might help us open up to the ideas we used to reject as being “wrong” or “bad parenting”. Maybe we can stop looking incredulously at the parent in the mall for doing something we would never dream of doing. Just a thought…


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