The Power of Play – it’s Good for Parents Too!

In an earlier post, we talked about why play for good for children, but did you know that play is good for parents, too? Well, play is good for all adults period, but parents especially should get into the habit of playing regularly.

Why do adults need to play?

Similarly to children, play helps adults connect. It helps adults be more creative, more flexible, and learn better because it teaches us to improvise, innovate and adapt. There is a reason why Google’s offices are designed in such a way as to encourage employees to play and have fun. It’s because play:

  • increases creativity and innovation
  • increases productivity
  • prevents burnout
  • encourages teamwork
  • improves stress management
  • gives a new perspective on problems

Outside of work, play is the cure all for loneliness, depression, stress and anxiety because play makes us happy.

Playing for Parents

Play is great for parents because:

  • it helps parents relieve stress – I’m sure no parent will argue with me that raising a child is a stressful job, indeed.
  • it helps mend relationships – I’m sure we’ve all said and done things to our children in the heat of the moment that we wished we could take back.
  • it keeps everyone happy – I don’t know whether it’s the chicken or the egg, but happy parents and happy kids go hand in hand.

Ironically, no matter how tired I am and how aggro I feel, when I take the time and make the effort to play with the boys, I actually find myself in a better spirits after. I feel ready to take on more and ready to give more. In return, the boys are better behaved and are much less taxing on my nerves (which are also a lot less frazzled after a round or two of play).

Heck, play’s also good for your relationship with your spouse. There was one incident I clearly remember… hubby and I were fighting about something (can’t even remember what it was) and we weren’t really talking to each other. Then hubby asked me to help him fix the doona (you know how it falls in on itself and one part of the cover is empty?) because he couldn’t do it on his own. So we were standing together, shaking out the doona and suddenly I felt like a kid playing the parachute game. I caught myself smiling and tried hard to stifle it. I think hubby must have felt the same because he commented on feeling like a kid again. And that was the end of the fight.

Parachute Game

Photo credit: Kid Activities

If you aren’t convinced about the value of play, you should watch the TED Talks video on “Play is More than Fun” by Stuart Brown. I loved the part about the polar bear and the husky – it was really compelling.

So the next time your children ask you to play with them, remember, it’s not just for them, it’s good for you, too.

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Parenting: Raising the Scientific Child

Do you have a child that smashes and breaks everything? Does you child do things even when you’ve warned him that it could be dangerous? Does he boldly go where others fear to tread? Are you at your wit’s end? Perhaps you’re ready to tear all your hair out in frustration – maybe you’re already balding as a result. I feel your pain. I have such a child and he’s likely to send me to a hospital with a nervous breakdown one day.

He is the Scientific Child.

Scientific Child

(Photo credit: Best Education Possible)

The scientific child is a born scientist. He never takes anyone’s word for it without testing it out for himself (or herself – we have girl scientists, too). He has to bash, bang, and break everything in sight because he’s trying to understand its limits. He is always searching for answers – what happens if I shake this? What happens if I hit it? What happens if I throw it? You say it’s going to burn me if I touch it? Let me see… Ouch! Oh, I get it now.

She is likely to get into a lot of scrapes because of her endless curiosity. She’ll drive you mad because she needs to try everything out for herself. Just when you think she should have learned her lesson, she proves you wrong, over and over. And if you’re wondering why she would do something again and again, it’s because she’s looking for anomalies and exceptions to the rules. Just because it happened once doesn’t mean it’ll happen again unless the multitude of randomised trials performed indicate a correlation.

The scientific child drives you to the brink and dangles you off the cliff of insanity with a rope that is fraying. But as gut-wrenching as his behaviour can be sometimes, the very qualities of the scientific child that annoy the bejesus out of you will be the qualities that will help him get further in life. That is, as long as he can hang on to those qualities into adulthood. It is a trial by fire that most parents dread but you just need to hang in there and walk the tightrope between raising your child safely into adulthood (since the scientific child is a high risk child and likely to cause severe bodily harm to self and possibly others if not kept in check) without completely squashing all these wonderful, natural qualities altogether.

Hercules is my scientific child. I’m convinced he’s secretly bought me a one way ticket to Tanjung Rambutan without telling me about it. In case you’re wondering, Tanjung Rambutan is a place in Malaysia that is famous for its mental hospital. Despite his mischievous, rascally behaviour, his adorable demeanour and heart-melting displays of affection is enough to disarm anyone. Instead, I rationalise my son’s hair-splitting behaviour as a means of consoling myself for having to deal with such a child.

Since misery loves company, tell me all about your scientific child…

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Parenting: Light at the End of the Tunnel for Picky Eaters

To the parents of fussy eaters, I just wanted to say that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

When Aristotle started eating solids, we had a rough time feeding him. He didn’t like a lot of food and there was a lot of stress over his lack of enthusiasm for food. As I’ve said before, when you come from a Chinese family – a traditional at that – a child that exclaims, “I hate eating!” is like a child who has just cussed every expletive on the “no-no” list.

Even though I read that most picky eaters grow out of the picky eating phase by about 7-9 years, I confess that I feared this day would never come for us.

To highlight the extent of Aristotle’s pickiness, let me relate some of the feeding experiences we have had with him when he was little:

  • Aristotle liked a particular brand of instant noodles but only that brand. If you tried to substitute it with another brand (we ran out of the ones he liked one day), he wouldn’t eat. We’d cooked it up, used the same flavour – chicken – and served it on a nondescript plate, but he only had to take one mouthful to know it wasn’t his brand.
  • I tried to sneak bananas into a juice blend and he would not have any of it. The moment the cup reached his nose, he turned his head. Even though he was keen to try it only a moment before, his acute sense of smell told him it contained something he wouldn’t like.

There was really no way to hide anything from him because his senses were so discriminating. He could smell the rat from a mile away. This was not a boy where you could pull the wool over his eyes.

Now that Aristotle is 6, I have noticed a different pattern of food consumption. He has been more willing to try “new” things. He is also expanding his repertoire of “favourite” foods, eating foods like nasi lemak and curry chicken, prawns, meats with different preparations, and even some veggies, like broccoli. To increase his green count (veggie consumption), I started mixing fruit and veggie smoothies in the Vitamix and he has been drinking them by the cupful. Make no mistake, the fruit and veggie smoothie would never have worked a couple of years ago, even though there is not a hint of green in the taste.

I won’t go so far as to say he eats everything now but he does eat a heck of a lot more variety than he would have as a younger child. So if you have a fussy eater, too, it may just be a waiting game. In the mean time, if you’re up for it, you can try some of the tricks we did to boost our picky eater’s food consumption:

We have also found two tactics that work fairly consistently:

  • eating in the company of other children
  • exercise or vigorous play before meal time is a great way to boost an appetite

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