When my brother was a kid, he had this terrible habit of banging his head on the floor, the wall, or any hard surface he could get near, whenever he couldn’t have what he wanted.  His head-banging was of a nature so violent that it struck fear in the hearts of my parents that he would cause some serious injury to himself.  Naturally, they always gave in to what he wanted just to pacify him and stop him from continuing his self-destructive obsession.

About a month back, I noticed with growing alarm that Gavin, too, has this tendency to destroy himself in a fit of rage.  Although he hasn’t quite gotten to the level that my brother had - I notice that he hesitates a little just before he bangs his head against the floor and that there is some measure of control to the force he applies - there is a real possibility that this could continue to develop into something worse.

After looking it up, I discovered that head-banging is a normal occurrence in about 20% of children under the age of 4.  Although it may be a sign of autism, a diagnosis of autism can be ruled out as long as your child demonstrates certain milestone achievements by 14 months (up to 18 months, beyond which, there is a possibility of autism), these being:

1. Pointing
2. Following your gaze
3. Pretend play

Head-banging can be considered as normal as thumb sucking, so long as it does not progress beyond 4 years of age. 

The desire for head-banging is linked with our kinesthetic drive - a need for movement.  Since being in utero, a baby has been bounced and jiggled, even after birth, babies find movement (such being rocked in a parent’s arms) soothing.  As such, you may even see your baby banging his head against the side of his cot as a means of releasing tension just before sleep. 

Indeed, Gavin started to do this quite early on - he’ll sit against the headboard of our bed and start rocking his body back and forth so that his head thumps against the headboard.  We’ve never minded it too much since our headboard is cushioned, but when he started to do it during a temper tantrum - he’ll get onto all fours and deliberate hit his forehead against the ground - we got a little alarmed.

Dr Greene recommends ignoring the behaviour when associated with a temper tantrum so that the child does not persist in continuing this behaviour to gain attention.  In fact, the best thing to do is pretend not to notice and definitely do not give in to what they want or the behaviour may persist (looks like my parents should have just ignored my brother’s head-banging episodes). 

Because pain mechanisms prevent them from hitting their heads too hard, and the force with which they use is insufficient to cause any neurological damage, you do not need to worry about any danger of head injury.  Besides, the part of the head that is most often struck is the side and front.  And since a toddler’s head is built to take considerable trauma (as part of nature’s way of protecting them as they learn to walk and climb), parents of little headbangers can rest a little easier.

Curiously, the silver lining in this dark cloud is that health head-banging children were found to be “measurably advanced compared to their peers. If anything, then, head banging in healthy children can be a sign of increased intelligence.”  Or perhaps we just try to convince ourselves that there is some reason why our child had to be the difficult one and why we have to endure these little eccentricities?

My cousins have often marvelled at my brother’s intelligence in spite of the “damage” they felt he must have done to his brain from all the head-banging during his childhood.  In the end they concluded that he might have been a genius if he hadn’t destroyed his brain cells during his head-banging episodes.  If my brother, my study of one, was an intelligent head-banger, maybe it isn’t just wishful thinking that Gavin might be smart, too.

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