Another reason why I’m glad I breastfeed Gavin…

Last month, Canada took the plunge and banned baby bottles made with bisphenol A:

“The Government of Canada led by Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper, newly re-elected last week, will immediately draft the world’s first regulations to prohibit the importation, sale and advertising of plastic baby bottles that contain the chemical bisphenol A.”

Considering that all the major baby bottle makers (Avent, The First Years, Dr Brown’s, Evenflo, Gerber and Playtex) have all been found to leach bisphenol A in quantities deemed harmful, I think this ban has had an enormous effect on the industry of baby bottles.  Incidentally, Dr Brown’s was shown to be the worst of the lot.  Here is a summary of the findings:

• Popular brands Avent, Disney/The First Years, Dr. Brown’s, Evenflo, Gerber, and Playtex market baby bottles that leach bisphenol A when heated;
• The laboratory tests detected between 5-8 ng/ml (parts per billion) bisphenol A leached from all bottles when heated;
• Based on over 150 peer-reviewed journal articles on bisphenol A, we conclude that the amount leaching from heated bottles is within the range shown to cause harm in animal studies and is therefore a health concern for infants;
• Dr. Brown’s brand bottles had the overall highest levels of bisphenol A leaching, while Avent brand bottles had the overall lowest levels of leaching in U.S. bottles; Canadian results differ. The levels of bisphenol A leaching increased dramatically when the bottles were heated, with highest concentrations reported from Dr. Brown’s brand bottles. These findings are significant as baby bottles are often heated, and/or very warm liquids are poured into bottles;
• Heating bottles to 80°C provides evidence of leaching when bottles are heated; heating to 80°C has been found to simulate 60–100 bottle washings and normal wear and use conditions;

What’s the issue with bisphenol A in baby bottles?

“BPA, a synthetic sex hormone that mimics estrogen, is used to make hard polycarbonate plastic. Ninety-five percent of all baby bottles on the market are made with bisphenol A. The results of the U.S. study show that, when new bottles are heated, those manufactured by Avent, Evenflo, Dr. Brown’s and Disney/First Years leached between 4.7 – 8.3 parts per billion of bisphenol A. Recent research on animals shows that bisphenol A can be harmful by disrupting development at doses below these levels.”

Bisphenol A has been found to affect future fertility of infants, cause behavioural problems, and increases risk of developing breast and prostate cancer later in life.

If you search online, you will still find a lot of reassurance that although bottles made with bisphenol A do leach, they are safe to use.  Naturally manufacturers of bisphenol A products, e.g. Tupperware, have issued statements reassuring the safety of their products, including those containing bishenol A (although it should be added that not all Tupperware products contain bisphenol A).  Even the FDA has concluded that the “trace amounts of bisphenol A leaching from bottles is not a threat to infants or adults”.

All the same, whenever there is controversy over the safety of a product, I believe it is always best to err on the side of caution.  Earlier this year, I switched the plastic bottles I was using to store Gavin’s water to the stainless steel Klean Kanteen bottles recommended to me by my BFF.  Ironically, I was still drinking from polycarbonate bottles myself up until yesterday, although I wouldn’t let Gavin have any water from it.  It was only when I read about the possible linkage to birth defects and miscarriages that I really sat up and took notice about drinking from polycarbonate bottles myself.

So what are the options if you can’t use plastic bottles?

Ideal Bite recommends Biter Bottles, Sigg (aluminum), Klean Kanteen (stainless steel), Nalgene made from HDPE, or glass bottles insulated with neoprene bottle totes (which provide some protection against possible breakage).  You can find these brands on Reusablebags.com and Nubius Organics.  I can’t say I’ve seen glass bottles being sold these days but VOSS retails their water in reusable glass bottles, although I don’t know how much one bottle of this designer water costs.

Although I use Klean Kanteen for Gavin, one of the downsides to this bottle is that it is heavy.  Hubby used to grumble about Gavin’s go-bag being very heavy and I’ve realised that the bottle contributes significantly to the added weight.  A lighter alternative is an aluminum bottle, like those made by Sigg. 

One of the things to be aware of with aluminum bottles is that aluminum is neurotoxic so most of the bottles made with it have an internal coating to prevent contact between the liquids and the aluminum.  Sigg bottles are coated with a water-based liner that is not affected by dents in the bottle, acidic beverages or carbonated drinks. 

The only problem with the metal bottles is that they cannot carry hot liquids as the container becomes too hot to hold.  Although they do have thermal insulated models which you can use if you need to carry hot liquids.  Alternatively, Nalgene HDPE claims to have a wide temperature tolerance so these are also a good alternative.

As for baby bottle alternatives, you can look at Born Free, Green to Grow, ThinkBaby on Nubius Organics which are all free from bisphenol A.

Update (29/11/08):  Dr Brown’s do have glass bottles and bottles that are free from bisphenol A as mentioned by Steve in the comments below.

For a more comprehensive list of baby and children’s bottles that are free from bisphenol A, please visit Safe Mama.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Invariably, we always come back to the same discussion - is my son eating enough?

When it comes to children, especially Chinese children in families who live to eat, the question of how much a child should be eating is always the subject of a very heated debate.  Being raised in a family that is nutrition conscious, I have always wanted Gavin to get off on the right foot of healthy eating.  Unfortunately, being the highly selective eater that he is, I have succumbed to feeding him anything that he will eat because of the pressure from the rest of the family to make him eat.  And when the rest of the family feeds him foods like Kit Kat, chips and any other tid bits stocked in the house, I refrain from saying anything because I know they are concerned about his food consumption (or rather lack of).

In a Chinese family where food is love, it reflects rather poorly on the mother when her child refuses food.  It is almost as if I have failed to raise him properly or that I don’t care about his well-being just because I have not succeeded in correcting his habit of rejecting food and picking at his meals when he doesn’t like what is being served.  The fact that he isn’t eating a bowl of rice “like other babies his age” is also a sign of a bad mother - never mind the fact that I was also a “poor eater” as a toddler (never mind the fact that toddlers only eat about a quarter of what an adult eats so a bowl of rice is four times more than what an average toddler would eat).

Considering that I read in the Parenting section of The Star that 25% of all young children are picky eaters, I’m sure that there are plenty of other mothers out there who are under the same pressure I am.  Perhaps some are facing even more heat if their children happen to have “skinny genes”.  My son, at least, is above average weight for his age and he looks chubby enough for the paediatrician to laugh off our concerns about his poor food intake.  This fact is probably the only thing going for me in this battle to feed him.

Unfortunately, according to the statistics, the bad news is that some of these children don’t break out of the “picky eating” cycle until about 7-9 years.  Good grief!  That means I have another 5-7 years of this!  Alternatively, you could view it from a more positive light and relax in the knowledge that your child will eventually outgrow this fussy phase of eating.

Being tired of constantly being under fire about my son’s food consumption (or lack of), I decided to get the facts straight.  Here are some of the arguments versus the facts:

Sometimes when the topic is raised about how little Gavin eats, I defend him by stating he ate a lot for lunch or some other meal, etc.  The next argument that arises then is that my idea of “a lot” is actually very little.

So how much should a toddler really eat?  I decided to find out.

Both Parenting iVillage and Keep Kids Healthy confirm that the recommended food consumption of a healthy toddler should be about a quarter of the recommended daily intake for an adult.  Hence the expectation that Gavin should be able to finish a bowl of rice on his own is unrealistic.  As for those kids who do (the examples that have been cited to me) - they’re either overeating or they are an exception to the norm.

Since Gavin is a nursing toddler, I thought it was more appropriate to check the advice of KellyMom who outlines the nutritional guidelines for nursing toddlers.

“Your child can continue breastfeeding just as often during the second year, but offer solid foods a few times a day. After 12 months, you can begin offering the solids BEFORE baby nurses, if you wish, instead of after. Your milk is still an important part of baby’s diet and will offer him many benefits (nutritionally, immunilogically and emotionally). There is not any particular “recommended number of times per day” that a toddler should be nursing. Some are only nursing once or twice a day, while others continue to enjoy lots of time at their mother’s breast. As baby slowly moves into eating more solids, your milk will fill any nutritional gaps nicely. Once you do start to breastfeed less often, remember that you must make a greater effort to ensure that your child eats several meals of nutritious food each day.”

Gavin nurses as and when he pleases - usually before naps and before bedtime, and during car rides if I’m not driving, or just before if I am.  He hasn’t shown an inclination towards cow’s milk which is also fine since breastmilk is better for him anyway (it contains higher fat content and it is species specific so all the nutrients are easier for him to absorb).  Cow’s milk is just a convenient supplementation if your toddler isn’t getting enough breastmilk (i.e. nursing less than 3-4 times a day, which Gavin is not).

Another thing that a lot of sites have echoed is that toddlers do not need as much food as we think they do, especially because their rate of growth slows between the age of 1 to 5 years.  So often when we think they aren’t eating enough, they really are.  The important thing is not to look at how much they are eating but to observe their behaviour and growth to ensure they are healthy. 

“Some children take a little longer to begin taking solids well. Some of them have food sensitivities and this may be their body’s way of protecting them until their digestive system can handle more. Others are late teethers or have a lot of difficulty with teething pain.”

Yup, that’s definitely Gavin.  Until now, he’s only got one of his lower molars although I can feel the bumps for more teeth coming up.  When the tooth is breaking the surface, Gavin often loses what little appetite he has for food and wants to nurse more.

“At this point there is NOTHING that your milk lacks that your child needs, with the possible exception of enough iron. As long as his iron levels are within acceptable levels and when he does eat you are offering him foods naturally rich in iron, then you have plenty of time before you need to worry about the amount of solids he’s getting.”

I was initially worried about whether he was getting enough vitamins but obviously I can relax a little since he is eating enough foods that are calcium rich.  Clearly the multitude of bottles of vitamin C tablets for kids on the shelves of pharmacies are intended for children who have been weaned because breastmilk does contain vitamin C and quite a bit of it, too.

KellyMom recommends that:

“All you need to do is to continue to offer foods. Don’t worry if he’s not interested or takes very small amounts. Your only true responsibility is what you offer, when you offer it and how you offer it, not whether or not he eats it. That has to be up to him. Trying to force, coax, or cajole your child into eating is never recommended. Continue to nurse on demand, day and night, and trust your child to increase the solids when he’s ready. As baby slowly moves into eating more solids, your milk will fill any nutritional gaps nicely.”

The general recommendations for feeding is to allow your toddler to graze throughout the day.  For instance, three small main meals plus two to three snacks.  In reality, some toddlers may end up only eating one main meal a day but so long as you offer (don’t force), you’ve done your job.  As long as your toddler is active, happy and alert, hitting all the developmental milestones and growing, you have nothing to be concerned about.

Looks like I can relax again…

Updated 1/12/08:  This post is on the Carnival of Kid’s Health - have a wander over there to read more articles about keeping your child healthy.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Contrary to what you might have thought, this post isn’t about potential nut allergies with Nutella - which is one of the reasons why some parents avoid feeding their children Nutella.  Unfortunately, Nutella contains something else that is equally damaging not only to children but to adults as well - trans fats.

A recent comment to this blog has prompted me to do a little more research on the negative effects of trans-fats/partially hydrogenated oils.  Being a regular consumer of peanut butter and Nutella (and also feeding Gavin this stuff), I realise this is something I really needed to look into because many peanut butter formulations contain partially hydrogenated oils and Nutella contains dangerously high levels of trans-fats.  My BFF also wisened me up on this topic some time back when I mentioned that Gavin was into peanut butter by suggesting I look for organic peanut butter that did not use hydrogenated oils.

I have heard about trans-fats and the recommendations to eliminate it from our diet, or at the very least, reduce consumption of it, but I confess I haven’t exactly done very much about it.

What are trans-fats?

Trans-fats occur naturally and in small amounts in some dairy products and meat.  It can be manufactured artificially through partial hydrogenation of oils. 

What’s bad about trans-fats?

Trans-fats has been linked with a significantly increased risk of coronary heart disease; it lowers good cholesterol (HDL) and increases bad cholesterol (LDL).  It is believed to be even worse than saturated fats.

Looks like my recent decision to purchase a multi-functional blender capable of producing nut butters (demonstrated in the video below) as part of a move towards healthier living was a good plan. 

With all the food scares we keep reading in the news, I think the sooner we start incorporating whole foods into our diet, the better.

For more information on Trans-fats and healthier living, this is a great article: Revealing Trans Fats.  Part of the recommendation to reduce childhood obesity and the dangers it ensues is to reduce trans fats consumption - especially from the diets of our children.

Popularity: 6% [?]

When the hubby and I were down in Singapore, Gavin’s appetite was exceptionally good. Why one night he ate raisin toast and Milo before dinner, then two third’s of the cod fish we ordered at the Japanese restaurant, drank some soup and topped it all off with ice cream for dessert. Ordinarily, the raisin toast and Milo before dinner would have killed his appetite at dinner.

I can only think of five reasons which might have contributed to Gavin’s good appetite:

1. Change of environment – being in a different city.
2. Food he liked – he clearly enjoyed the raisin toast because he never once rejected it. In fact, he kept asking me for “bread” whenever he saw it.
3. Presence of good company – we have long known that Gavin is a lot better behaved in the presence of less familiar faces.
4. Monkey see, monkey do – we have also known that Gavin tends to eat better when he can see other children eating.
5. Exercise before dinner – the night that he ate the toast, Milo, fish, soup and ice cream, we had taken him for a dip in the pool just before dinner. Clearly, the swimming did wonders to perk up his appetite. Now I wonder if it works just as well if he exercises through other activities.

While the first three reasons are debateable, we know for sure that reason four and five have a definite positive effect on Gavin because it seems to have a good correlation with most of the incidences we have experienced.

Popularity: 5% [?]

Last night was one of those nights - yeah, the one of those difficult ones that leaves me wondering how differently I should have handled things…

It’s hard to say when exactly things started to fall apart so I’ll start as early as lunch. I took Gavin for lunch with a friend of mine and her daugther. Gavin didn’t really seem keen to eat lunch. He ate a couple of mouthfuls of rice and drank two thirds of his Milo. Since he’s been rubbing his gums and pointing to them saying “bite” (read: pain), I guess he’s teething again and it has put him off his food (we’re waiting for his molars to break through).

Right after we left the restaurant, Gavin started saying “ice cream”. Looking around, I didn’t see any ice cream parlours in sight so I wondered if he had gotten to the point where he expected to be fed ice cream and was refusing to eat lunch to save his tummy for dessert. Not wanting to encourage such behaviour, I told him, “No. You didn’t eat your lunch.” He didn’t make a fuss after that and we even walked past New Zealand Ice Creamery without issue.

When he got back into the car, he fell asleep on the way home. I brought him up to the room and then went back downstairs to do a couple of things. Ordinarily, I try to stay close so that I can help him settle back to sleep if he stirs. Yesterday, I was still downstairs when my SIL2 heard Gavin cry. By the time I got back upstairs, he was too wide awake to be settled back to sleep. I tried to rock and nurse him back to sleep for the next 45 minutes without success before I gave up.

We went downstairs to play with the Thomas and Friends train set that my FIL bought him a few days ago and which Gavin was absolutely nuts about. My FIL and Gavin were playing with the train set when Gavin started trying to climb the table because he couldn’t reach the train from one side of the table. Naturally, my FIL told him off and to reinforce the message, he stopped the train and bus and told Gavin, “No more.”

Gavin got upset and clearly held a grudge against his Ah Kong for telling him off. He came to the kitchen looking for an ally to turn the train and bus back on for him - at least, I think that was what he was up to. So I took him back to the train set and firmly explained to him that if he climbed on the table, he would not be allowed to play with the train set. If he wanted to play with the train set, he had to agree not to climb the table. Gavin agreed. Then I told him he had to apologise to Ah Kong, which took a bit of time because he wasn’t keen to say “sorry”. Ironically, he didn’t seem to mind apologising to me because he kept signing “sorry” to me. But since the offence was committed against Ah Kong, I insisted that he apologise to Ah Kong or there would be no more playing with the train set. Finally, he apologised and hugged Ah Kong.

Personally, I thought that whole issue was resolved pretty well.

Somewhere in the middle of all this, Ah Kong had fed Gavin some Kit Kat - which I knew was probably a mistake for Gavin to be having so close to dinner time, but since he was bonding so well with Ah Kong lately (something that hasn’t really been happening too well in the past), I didn’t have the heart to ruin the bonding session.

When dinner time rolled around, Gavin didn’t want to sit in his high chair. For the past two nights in a row, he hadn’t wanted to sit in his high chair so we allowed him to sit on a normal chair stacked with cushions. Unfortunately, Gavin is a rather messy eater and insists on feeding himself, so my SIL2 made some changes to his high chair hoping he would sit in it. Gavin balked at the high chair and flat out refused to sit despite all our efforts to bribe him, give him two options (sit in the high chair or the bumbo chair on a normal chair), talk about Higgly Town Heroes and trains, and cajole.

Gavin also refused to eat dinner and wanted more Milo from the fridge. When he couldn’t have the Milo, he started howling in frustration and hubby said to ignore him while we all continued to eat dinner.

Quite frankly, although I knew Gavin’s behaviour wasn’t acceptable, I felt we had set him up for a fall - for which I felt bad. Part of good parenting is about knowing how to handle your child to help him behave appropriately. For instance, if you want him to eat dinner, don’t feed him snacks too close to dinner time and expect him to eat dinner as well. We all know that Gavin is not a child that is crazy about eating so feeding him just before dinner will ruin his appetite.

Secondly, if he refuses to sit in the high chair, we need to decide on two things:

1. How important is it that he sits in the high chair - if we want to insist on it, we should never have started the routine of sitting on cushions because it confuses him as to why he could sit on cushions the previous two nights and suddenly he can’t sit on them last night. To make it worse, when we’re eating out, we allow him to sit on stacked chairs instead of making him sit in a high chair. No wonder he can’t understand why we’re suddenly insisting that he’s got to sit in the high chair now.

2. Is it more important that he sit in his high chair or that he eats dinner? It is unfortunate, but with a headstrong child like Gavin, you only get to choose one. Sure, you can argue that he hardly eats much during dinner any way, but do you really want to traumatise him every time dinner comes around and expect him to still have a nice impression about meal times, sitting with the family, and eating?

As an infant, Gavin likes to emulate us. We drink from a glass, he wants to drink from a glass, too. I floss my teeth, he wants to floss his teeth, too. We sit in our “adult” chairs, he wants to sit in the “adult” chair, too. It’s a normal desire.

The solution to the high chair is a simple one - create a booster that we can attach to a normal chair so he can sit in a regular chair just like everyone else.

As for not eating dinner - I’m pretty sure it was a combination of the Kit Kat and the fact that he was mad at us for forcing him to sit in the high chair. Had we eliminated those two issues, the non-eating would never have been a problem.

Where, then, is the bad behaviour?

Now this is the part where I rant. I was criticised for being too easy on Gavin - always giving in to him and letting him have whatever he wants. In other words, I’m spoiling him.

Firstly, let’s get this straight - I don’t let him have whatever he wants. I assess the situation and decide how important I think it is, whether there is a need to correct a behaviour, etc. Since I am the one who spends the most time with Gavin and nobody observes us together 24/7, no one has the right to say I give in to him every time because they are not around to observe my every action with Gavin.

Secondly, what the heck is all this “giving in” and who’s “winning” rubbish? I’m developing a relationship with my son. I try to look for “win-win” scenarios whenever possible because a happy toddler means everyone is also happy. I don’t want to be battling my toddler every step of the way just because I’m the parent and whatever I say goes, like it or not. Life isn’t like that. Relationships are not like that. Relationships are about compromises and learning to live together. A relationship with a child is no different. That doesn’t mean I’m giving him a free reign either.

It was also said that I am not disciplining him appropriately because of his violent reactions when we say “no”. This is believed to be the result of me “giving in” to him all the time.

Firstly, he’s a toddler - he’s a slave to his passions. He cannot control his emotions and disappointments the way an adult can. He simply hasn’t learned how. In time, he will - but we have to be more patient.

Secondly, how often we have to say “no” is not the issue in question. I know plenty of instances of kids who are often told “no” but that certainly doesn’t ease the pain of having to hear “no” or stop them from reacting badly.

Thirdly, it was the end of the day when all toddlers are getting tired and notoriously at their worst. Not only that, but Gavin had had a rather short afternoon nap for two days running, meaning he hasn’t been sleeping an adequate number of hours required by a toddler his age. When we’re tired, we’re also more grumpy and bad-tempered. We’re also more prone to “losing it” over small things. So why should we expect a toddler who has even less control over his emotions to behave any better?

Fourthly, I have said “no” to him plenty of times and he has taken it like a true champ without fuss. Obviously, no one remembers those incidences because we seemed wired to remember only the bad ones.

As for discipline, if my son does wrong, I tell him why it’s wrong, why I’m upset and I show him that there are consequences to his actions (e.g. no more playing with his trains). But isn’t it wrong for me to get angry at him for not wanting to eat because he’s full? Isn’t it wrong for me to get mad at him because he wants to be like everyone else and sit on a proper dining chair? Sure it’s not so convenient for me if he chooses to sit on a dining chair versus his high chair, but it isn’t a bad thing.

Yes, I agree that some of his actions are not so desirable - for instance when he gets so absorbed in watching the TV that he totally ignores whoever is talking to him. He’s a toddler, so we need to make some allowances and cut him some slack. We can’t lay down the law and expect him to behave like he’s five years old - he isn’t developmentally ready for that. What we need to do is decide what is most important to us first and foremost and correct those behaviours first (like throwing his toys and hitting people). Once those behaviours become routine, we can tackle the not so important ones (like eating with his hands instead of the spoon - my nephew, C, loves to eat and that’s because his parents don’t mind him making a mess at the dinner table and eating with his hands). This is exactly like handling tasks at work - label behaviours as high priority, medium priority and low priority and tackle them one at a time. If you try to correct everything all at once, you’ll achieve nothing and everyone will be frustrated.

Again and again, I get criticised for following the textbooks too much and trying to find the gentle way of handling things when the situation should be a simple “I’m right, you’re wrong, so do as I say!” Let me tell you why I keep looking for a better way to handle things rather than turning everything into a battle of wills…

Let’s take last night as an example. After the incident at dinner, there was a lot of upset people. Quite frankly, hubby and I argued about how things should have been handled and about Gavin “behaving badly”. We argued in front of Gavin - which did not help matters (because parents arguing in front of young children creates fear in the child because if something happens between their parents, it threatens their emotional security).

As a result of the events at dinner, I had a lot of trouble getting Gavin into the bath, I had a lot of trouble changing his diaper, and I had a lot of trouble understanding why he was suddenly extremely fussy about everything and nothing. He was teary and upset for reasons known and unknown, and he reacted poorly to everything. He went to sleep upset which has been causing his nightmares and crying in his sleep leading to him stirring far too frequently - which has made it take twice as long for me to complete this blog post. I am angry and upset at being attacked for my choices in parenting methodologies and for being accused of being a lax parent, and to top it off, I have to deal with an extra fussy toddler who would not have been so fussy if I had handled things my way. When I am upset, I’m also not able to handle my child - my patience is spread extremely thin and I’m just inches away from a meltdown myself.

So being the person who is left to deal with Gavin for the largest part of the day, please let me handle him my way.

Popularity: 9% [?]

There has always been an underlying concern about Gavin’s poor interest in food which has made me consciously aware of anything and everything related to it.  Recently, I made a few more discoveries which help to unravel the mystery and to resolve some of the unasked questions that have been floating around.

1. Lack of Molars

Last week, when I was at Kizsports, I bumped into a Mum that I used to see at Fitfor2 when we were both pregnant.  Her daughter, who has always been an avid eater, was playing at Playland and when she fell down and started wailing, I caught a view of her full mouth of teeth.  Her daughter is a couple of weeks younger than Gavin and she’s already got her molars!  The first of Gavin’s molars has yet to erupt.

Girls generally precede boys with teeth eruption, but even for a boy, Gavin is a little on the late side since, on average, most first molars usually erupt by 18-19 months.  Since Gavin only has eight incisors with which to chew, it is no wonder he hasn’t really taken to solids quite so well because it’s quite a challenge to eat with only incisors. 

We’ve also noticed that Gavin likes liquids - he hardly ever rejects liquids.  He drinks water, juice, soup and flavoured milk.  We rarely have problems getting him to drink liquids which seems to correlate with his apparent lack of interest in solids because he hasn’t got any molars.

2. The Question of Weaning

There has been concern that Gavin’s continued nursing is causing a reduction in his appetite because he drinks too much breastmilk.  Although there is plenty of evidence to indicate that there is no need to wean a child in the hope of increasing his regular food intake, the question often brims beneathe the surface of our conversations about Gavin’s poor solid intake.

Further to the evidence, I recently met a Mum who did wean her son, hoping to increase his solid intake.  Despite weaning her son, his solid intake has not increased.  Instead, he has started to drink more cow’s milk.  Quite frankly, between cow’s milk and breastmilk, I would rather Gavin drink breastmilk because:

• breastmilk is formulated especially for Gavin, while cow’s milk was intended for a calf.
• breastmilk contains a higher percentage of fat compared to cow’s milk (and since the fear of Gavin not consuming enough solids is related to his weight gain, we should be encouraging him to take more breastmilk instead of cow’s milk).

3. Selective Tastebuds

I think we’ve also established that Gavin has rather selective tastebuds.  Part of what contributes to the challenge of feeding him solids is also the fact that there isn’t a lot of flavours that he enjoys eating.  Getting Gavin to eat solids then becomes a task of finding something he can chew with just his incisors with a flavour that he likes.

For instance, I have discovered that one of the most consistent savoury flavours that Gavin enjoys is chicken.  He likes to eat chicken (albeit, it has to be cooked until it is very tender), and other chicken-flavoured food, like porridge made with chicken stock, chicken-flavoured noddles, etc.  If I ensure that there is a chicken flavour in his meal, I can usually expect him to eat some of the meal.

When you put all this into the picture, it isn’t at all surprising that Gavin isn’t really eating solids with gusto.  The fact that he likes most of the liquids we present to him is a good sign that his solid eating will pick up once he starts growing his molars.

Below: Gavin eating a cracker at my grandma’s house.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Gavin’s eating habits has been under constant scrutiny since he started solids at 6 months.  After the recent uproar over his poor appetite, I have started monitoring his food intake on a daily basis and I feel quite satisfied that the volume he consumes is adequate for his daily requirements. 

Additionally, Sears in “The Successful Child” cautions that we should not be too particular about how much a child consumes at one meal.  What is more important is for a child to graze throughout the day.  Eating lots of healthy snacks in addition to the three main meals will help ensure your child consumes enough food.  It is also important to remember that the size of a child’s stomach is roughly about the size of his fist so the next time you start fretting over the fact that he hasn’t eaten everything on his plate, just take stock of how much you’re offering him versus the size of his fist.

Although I have stopped fretting about the volume that Gavin consumes, what does bother me is Gavin’s rather selective food preferences. In particular, I’m concerned that his current food choices aren’t very healthy or nutritious.  I’ve decided to take some proactive measures to correct this aside from the standard “keep offering his a wide variety of choices to choose from”. 

The temporary measure is to offer him more fortified foods.  For instance, rather than giving him the biscuit that has no nutritional value other than empty calories, I opt to give him one that has been fortified with vitamins and minerals.  Although biscuits are far too high in sugar, it is difficult to stop offering it to him especially since it is one of the few snacks he will eat.  So I figure that, at the end of the day, if he’s going to eat a biscuit, then at least let it be one with vitamins and minerals added to it.

Another measure I can take is to start baking my own cookies for him to eat.  That way I can control how much sugar goes into it.  I can also add healthier ingredients, like oats, and use wholemeal flour instead of white flour. 

The long term plan is based on these points:

Fact: they say that breastmilk reflects the flavours of whatever foods you consume.  Based on a statement my BFF’s son made about the flavour of her breastmilk, I guess this is true.

Recommendation: they say that to help your child accept a wide variety of foods, it is important to eat a wide variety of foods so that your child can become familiar with the flavours in your breastmilk, hence be more willing to accept the food.

Observation: I’ve noticed that when I first introduced durians to Gavin, he refused to taste it at all.  Durian being such a strong flavoured food, I’m sure Gavin could hardly have missed the flavour in my breastmilk whenever I eat it.  Subsequently, when I presented durian to him again, he seemed more willing to eat it.  Now, he actively points to it and indicates that he wants to eat it.

Hypothesis: if I want Gavin to accept a new flavour, I’ve got to eat more of it so he can get used to its flavour through my breastmilk.

The Plan: to start incorporating more of the foods I want Gavin to accept (especially the foods recommended as highly nutritious for children, such as avocados) into my own diet and see if his intake of those foods improves over the next few weeks.

Popularity: 7% [?]

At 19 months old, Gavin’s eating habits are still somewhat questionable and recently, I’ve been receiving some heat for it.  Although he is a healthy weight and growing well, there is still a lot of concern about the fact that he doesn’t seem as interested in food as other children his age.  Let me qualify that - other children we know who are his age.

As I’ve said before, in a Chinese family, food is love - we live to eat.  The idea that a child does not like to eat deals a crushing blow and strikes fear in the heart of all those who love him.  So naturally, there are a number of people up in arms over Gavin’s lack of interest in food.  In fact, this has been a persisting issue since he started solids at six months.

Quite honestly, I feel I have tried everything I can think of.  I have also read quite extensively on toddlers who won’t eat and the advice is the same everywhere - keep offering food and try to relax.  The more anxious you are about your toddler not eating, the more likely he is to continue this pattern.  It has taken me a while to relax and just when I have started to accept my son’s eating habits, I have been accused of not trying to correct his behaviour or researching how this might be done.

I really don’t know what else I can do to encourage Gavin to eat besides forcing his mouth open and shoveling food in there and for obvious reasons, I won’t do that.  Neither will I resort to threatening him to eat.  I have heard of a mother who spanks her daughter with a cane if she refuses to eat - and I fail to see the logic behind that.  She’s just increasing the negative association that her daughter has with food.

So let’s break it down and take a look at the problem:

Gavin is 19 months old and he has eight teeth.  I’ve noticed that he tends to go off food especially when he’s sick or when he’s teething.  Since he still has quite a number of teeth to erupt, I guess it’s safe to say that the eating patterns aren’t going to improve on their own in the near future.

The times when he’s eaten well, the foods he ate were - cheese, bread, cereals, biscuits, noodles, ice cream, hot chocolate, soup, congee and rice.  However, none of these foods have consistently been a real hit with Gavin except the hot chocolate and the ice cream.  The fact that he eats ice cream with such gusto suggests to me that he doesn’t have a problem with eating but that he is just very selective about his food choices (not unlike someone we all know).  It’s just unfortunate that ice cream is hardly a staple food that we can offer him on a regular basis.

We have also noticed that Gavin eats a lot better when he is in the company of other children.  Perhaps it is the influence, perhaps it is the fear that all his food will be eaten, he seems to be more interested to eat when his friends are eating.  Aside from encouraging more outings with friends with kids, there’s probably not much else we can do about this until Gavin gets another sibling.

Other reasons for not wanting to eat - snacking too much, or consuming too much fluids.  I’ve noticed that we tend to feed him a snack after his afternoon nap - anywhere between 4pm to 5pm.  It may be a biscuit, it may be bits of bah kwa (dried sweet meat) and it can be with juice or chocolate milk.  Perhaps in our concern to make sure he eats, we have developed a habit of giving him too many snacks.  One way to keep track of how much he’s eating is to keep a food diary.

Sure, sometimes it isn’t the snacks.  Sometimes he just doesn’t like what’s offered at dinner and chooses not to eat.  So maybe what we need to do is have a consistent back-up to feed him in the event that he doesn’t like what is served at dinner.  And maybe what we need to do is take better note of the foods that he does enjoy eating and make sure we cook them more often?

You might have noticed that I have used the term “selective feeder” instead of “fussy eater” to give it a more positive spin.  They say that negative labels tend to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, such as calling a child naughty, so I’ve decided to remove this one by referring to my son as a “selective feeder”.  He’s not picky, he just knows what he wants.

If you have any other suggestions at all on feeding a selective feeder, feel free to post them in the comments below. 

Popularity: 6% [?]

If your child is a fussy eater and you’re at your wits end to get him to eat, here’s a tactic that seems to work for me quite consistently:

Let your child observe other children eating.

Nearly every time we have gone out with other parents who have children around the same age as Gavin, Gavin generally eats a lot more than he usually does.  And if we want him to eat even more, all we have to do is offer his food to the other child and Gavin will go into hoarding mode. 

For instance, I offered him a biscuit which he declined.  When his friend asked if he could have one of Gavin’s biscuits, Gavin suddenly decided he wanted a biscuit, too.

Of course, I suppose it takes a certain personality in a child for this to work…

I should have thought of this earlier, though.  When I was studying Dentistry, one of the behaviour modification techniques we were taught was called “modelling”.  One of the ways to help young children accept dental check-ups is for them to observe another child getting a check-up in a positive environment.  Being able to see that the other child is happy and unafraid of getting the check-up helps to reassure them that there is nothing to fear about having the procedure done on themselves.

Incidentally, while I was passing the time in a shopping mall in JB, I saw a VCD that is supposedly designed to help encourage your child to eat healthy food called Baby Gourmet.  There are three volumes, but I only saw volume 2 and 3 for sale.  I decided to buy volume 2 and try it out on Gavin, especially since it received the Dr Toy award - Gavin’s Thomas the Tank Engine book had also received the Dr Toy award and he loved that book so I figured we couldn’t go too far wrong with this VCD.  Besides the VCD was on RM15.90 - a small price to pay if it meant my son would eat better.

Since I bought the VCD, I’ve played it once for Gavin.  He paid little to no attention to the VCD which is basically a recording of various food pictures and soothing music in the background.  Perhaps it would have worked better if I had started using it on Gavin when he was younger and less discerning about what he watched on TV? 

Popularity: 6% [?]

Gavin has mastered the ability to drink from a cup or small bowl. Although the process was rather messy and we had to deal with a few soggy t-shirts while he worked at refining his technique, it looks like his efforts have finally paid off.

While it might be a pain to have to clean up after him, I’ve noticed that whenever Gavin makes a mistake, he is quick to pick up from him. For instance, after spilling soup down his front, he was very careful after that to make sure he didn’t over-tip the bowl.

Although he can control the cup angle pretty well now, he occasionally spills liquids down his front whenever he gets distracted and he forgets he is still holding the cup. He also has a habit of swinging his arms when he walks so we can’t quite give him a regular cup to carry around.

To encourage him to be independent, I try not to fuss when he makes mistakes and I resist the urge to wipe his mouth after every mouthful. I try to be patient even though his helping usually means we take twice as long to complete a task. I also let him help even if I am the one essentially doing the task.

For instance, I once asked Gavin to help me put back the shopping basket even though it was too cumbersome for him to carry it on his own and effectively I was the one carrying it while he just held on to one of the sides. Such practices, albeit tedious, inculcates a good habit of helping out and not only is it good training, but I am sure it will come in handy when Gavin is older.

Popularity: 6% [?]