It has always been my intention not to allow Gavin to tuck into junk food before he turned two years.  I even held onto some foolish hope that I could delay the introduction of junk food until he was school going.  Despite the number of times I had told anyone around me who cared to listen that babies’ palates are untouched therefore they don’t know crave for things they have not tasted, I still keep getting told that I am depriving my son of the foods he desires to eat. 

For instance, my FIL keeps a container of biscuits near his favourite chair where he watches TV.  Gavin loves to wander over to that table and point at the things on it, including the container of biscuits.  When he was younger, before he had even tasted anything other than breast milk and the food I specially prepared for him, my FIL would insist that Gavin wanted to eat the biscuits.  This isn’t necessarily the case - Gavin is just curious.  Even when he reaches out for the food we eat before him, he doesn’t necessarily desire to eat them.  Sometimes all he wants is to touch it just as he would any other new item he has never seen before.

I was a bit disappointed when Gavin was fed his first taste of ice cream before he had even reached the age of one year.  It also bothered me that Gavin was chomping on biscuits in between meals that were fed to him by my in laws.  The only exception I made was his rusk biscuits because they were fortified with vitamins and minerals and fairly low in sugar (especially when compared to regular biscuits which are empty calories and completely devoid of nutrients).  To add to that, he was also being offered deep fried foods during family meal times - though he was not necessarily always eating them.

The hubby keeps telling me that I am depriving Gavin, because to the hubby, life is all about food.  Personally, I felt that Gavin had a lifetime ahead of him to feast on these foods and since he is young and nutrition is paramount, I really wanted to get him off to the right start.  Unfortunately, with Gavin having only sprouted two teeth at the age of one year and being an extremely fussy eater, he has created a lot of cause for concern about his eating habits.  Being under a lot of pressure to get him to eat and being limited in the types of foods I could give him (since he doesn’t have many teeth) has meant I had to relax the rules about the types of food I would have otherwise been unwilling to offer him at this tender age.  Since our diets aren’t exactly the healthiest, it makes it that much harder to ensure that Gavin only eats proper foods. 

Before I met the hubby, I was a vegetarian.  I had even gotten to the point where I ate very limited chocolate and ice cream (my two vices when it comes to junk food) and was completely averse to deep fried foods.  I only had to look at KFC to feel physically ill.  Well, it’s hard to grow up in a family who buys fruits by the box-load and live with parents who were constantly watching my diet and not develop some instincts for healthy eating.  Unfortunately it only took some three years of dating and living with the hubby for the chocolate and ice cream to creep back into my life with a vengeance. Now not only do I eat KFC but I even look forward to it - gasp!  With my diet being the way that it is now, it’s been a little difficult for me to say what Gavin should and shouldn’t be eating.  “Eat as I say, don’t eat as I do” is not exactly a good formula.

So I relented a little figuring that as long as Gavin was eating some nutritious foods like wholemeal bread, cheese, fortified rice cereals and his rusk biscuits, I would allow him the occasional tastes of sugar and fried foods.  Some how or other, chocolate didn’t quite make it onto my list of acceptable foods even if I consume copious amounts of the stuff.  

You can imagine my chagrin when my SIL, during a playful session with Gavin, discovered that he willingly opened his mouth to taste Nutella.  I realise it was an accident and that my SIL didn’t expect him to be so willing to sample because Gavin usually requires a lot of cajoling before he will open his mouth to try any new foods.  Not only was he willing to try Nutella, he loved it!  What child doesn’t like Nutella, you ask?  Duh!  Well, Gavin has surprised us all by declining even ice cream when he isn’t in the mood for it.

When I told my SIL that my original plan was not to offer Gavin chocolate at such an early stage, she smiled apologetically and said, “Well, Nutella’s not really chocolate - it’s gianduja.”  Trust a chef to come up with a comment like that…

Okay, so Gavin likes his Nutella.  So what?  We don’t have to offer it to him everyday of the week.  Well, the scene in the kitchen this morning was definitely cause for alarm.  My SIL, who’s been dying to get back into Gavin’s list of favourite people (as he hasn’t been too keen to be carried by her since she came back from Perth), and my MIL, who just loves to watch Gavin enjoying his food, were both fighting to feed Gavin Nutella for breakfast. 

With everyone eager to bribe Gavin with treats to win his affections, I can see that my plan to keep him off the junk food (at least to limit his consumption of it as much as possible) is fading as rapidly as the memory of a dream upon waking up in the morning.  My only consolation (since misery loves company) is that another mother was complaining to me that the same thing was happening with her daughter.  Despite her constant nagging not to feed sweets and treats to her daughter, the grandparents just keep right on at it.  Sometimes I think we mothers are invisible and unheard.

Sigh… I need a new feeding plan.  Got any suggestions for me?

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Photo taken by HL.

Recently two of my friends delivered their babies and they are both going through the traditional one month confinement period like I did. Both of them are also being taken care of by confinement ladies and both of them are breastfeeding. After talking to both of them about some of the advice they were told to follow, I felt compelled to write about it. I am not opposed to the idea of a confinement so long as the practice makes sense and does not cause harm. That said, there are two confinement practices that I completely oppose to.

The first is the practice of not consuming vegetables and fruits. The reason for this is because after delivery, it is believed that a woman’s body loses a lot of heat and she becomes too cool. The period of confinement is supposed to help her regain her heat and all practices during that month are intended to help her warm up her body. All food are believed to have either “heating” or “cooling” properties and most fruits and vegetables fall under the category of “cool” food hence they become taboo foods for a postpartum mother.

After a natural delivery, I think most mothers will agree me that the last thing they want to do is to get constipated. Although the doctors say that we can exert the “normal” amount of pressure during the act of defecation, the fear of tearing our stitches is very real. When your stitched wound is accompanied by haemorrhoids, it exacerbates the reluctance to “push” during defecation.

I don’t know about other Moms, but I certainly wasn’t about to stop my fiber intake so that I could have rocks for stools and aggravate a particularly tender site trying to get rid of them. I still clearly remember the first day I stopped the suppositories that were helping me defecate - I had cold sweats in the toilet because I was constipated and I didn’t dare “push”. Without going into further detail, I ended up having to call the nurse for assistance. I vowed I would never get into that situation again so there was no way I was going to listen to someone tell me I couldn’t eat them during the confinement month.

For Moms who still want to adhere to the confinement practice, there are certain allowances that can be made. I have been told that certain fruits and veggies can be overlooked because they are “less windy” and “less cooling”. Fruits such as apples and grapes are fine, and vegetables like spinach can be consumed.

The second confinement practice I disagree with is the belief that a mother should not consume water. On a regular day, we need eight glasses of water to stay hydrated and more if it is hot and we sweat a lot. On top of that, a nursing Mom also needs to replenish the fluids she loses from making breastmilk for her baby. If you don’t consume enough fluids, not only will you become dehydrated, but the fiber you’re consuming to help you defecate will be useless.

Most Moms in confinement are told they can only drink red date water and drinks like Milo. Although these are fluids too, one glass is not equivalent to a glass of water. If you insist on avoiding the water, you’ll have to drink a lot more to make up for the lack of fluids.

More posts on Confinement:

On The Confinement Month
The Story Behind the Confinement
Antenatal Practices During Confinement

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