If you have read any of my previous confinement posts, you may be aware that it is common practice in Asia for a “pui-yuet” (companion for the month) to live in with the new family to help look after mother and baby in the first month after delivery.  This is an age-old practice that continues to provide a lot of benefits to both mother and child.  The only problem in recent times is the difficulty of finding a good pui-yuet.

I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t keen on the idea of having a stranger live in my house and look after my newborn son and myself.  After being forced to endure “the month”, I have to say that having a pui-yuet isn’t without its benefits.  For instance, after breastfeeding the baby at night, she was there to burp Gavin, change his diaper and put him back to sleep while I got some much needed rest.  Breastfed babies feed every two to three hours after birth, so poor Mummy would probably not get any rest at all if she had to do all these things on her own.  Since Mummy is still recovering from the delivery, rest is a good thing to have.

In the months leading up to my delivery, we were looking high and low for a pui-yuet to look after Gavin and me.  I heard a lot of horror stories about pui-yuets who didn’t respect the mothers right to breastfeed, who demanded obscene amounts of money, who ate the nourishing confinement foods that were supposed to given to the mother, and the list goes on.  None of these stories did anything to allay my gripes about having a pui-yuet in my house.

When my MIL finally found a pui-yuet for me, they spoke at length to ensure that this pui-yuet would not give us any of the nonsense we had heard about.  We also wanted to make sure that she was clear on her responsibilities.  Since the pui-yuet came highly recommended by a relative, we were a little more relaxed. 

Due to my confinement overlapping Chinese New Year, I only had my pui-yuet for three weeks.  Actually, it was probably more like two weeks because I spent much of the first week in the hospital with Gavin who was jaundiced.  Aside from a few misunderstandings, things with my pui-yuet went quite well - well enough for me to recommend her to a friend of mine who was delivering her baby in Australia and looking for hired help.

After the things my friend told me that she did, I feel terrible that I recommended her.  For instance, she demanded her own TV from my friend so she could watch her Chinese soaps.  Then when they were shopping, the pui-yuet would ask my friend and her mother to buy her some t-shirts she wanted to buy and when it came to the payment of those t-shirts, she told my friend to take the money from the “red packet”.

Let me clarify this point for those who are not in the know.  Aside from the payment for the pui-yuet’s services, some expect a red packet.  The red packet is a token amount of the MIL’s choice that is given to the pui-yuet at the end of the month.  As far as I understand, the symbolism of the red pack is to balance the “good will” - something akin to “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours”.  When the pui-yuet comes to help the new family, it is considered that she is doing a favour to the family (even though she gets paid for it).  In the Chinese culture, a favour that is given (whether in the form of a gift or an action) must always be returned.

According to my MIL, it is only in more recent times that a red packet is given.  Historically, what the pui-yuet is given is an outfit for her to wear.  The substitution of the outfit with the red packet is one of convenience.  It is also worth noting that since we had our pui-yuet during Chinese New Year, she is also supposed to be given a red packet because the occasion demands it.  Yup, Chinese New Year is a very expensive time of year to hire a pui-yuet.  Not only do you have to give her two red packets but you also have to pay her double because it’s like working through Christmas.

Much of the problems with pui-yuets lie with the fact that a lot of these arrangements are made by word of mouth.  Often there are no written credentials for you to check her out capabilities and you don’t get to test her until the day your baby is born.  There are also no written agreements for the work she is required to do.  Since there are a lot of unspoken rules with pui-yuets that one wouldn’t know unless you were familiar with the culture, it often gives rise to misunderstandings during the month.

Here are some of those unspoken rules and expectations:

• A pui-yuet is only responsible for the mother and baby.  Any work outside of those responsibilities are not part of her duty.  That means, she isn’t required to do any housework except wash the clothes that belong to the mother and baby, and the dishes that were used by the mother and baby.  That also means she doesn’t have to cook for the father, wash his clothes or anything else that belongs to the father.  Some pui yuets will do housework if you are willing to pay them extra.
• A pui-yuet’s responsibilities does not include her own meals.  Some pui yuets will overlook this point but the more picky ones will expect their meals to be provided for them.  Some picky ones will also expect more money if they are required to cook for themselves.
• A pui-yuet is employed for 28 days.  It commences on the day the baby is born and ends on the day of the baby’s full moon.  Even if mother and baby are still at the hospital and cannot be discharged, the one month count-down has begun and the pui-yuet’s time is ticking.
• As mentioned earlier, a pui-yuet that is hired for a month that includes Chinese New Year has to be paid double.  An additional red packet is also given for Chinese New Year.
• At the end of the month, a red packet is given to the pui-yuet as a token of appreciation for her efforts (this is additional to the amount agreed upon for her services for the month).  There is no stipulated amount - it works a little like a tip.  The happier you are with her services the more you can put inside the red packet - usually $100 - $200.  Unlike a tip, you still have to give her something even if you think her services are poor, you just give her less.  I think a red packet containing $1 shouts volumes about what you thought of her services.
• According to the traditional hierarchy, the pui-yuet is only answerable to the MIL.  This goes even if the person paying for the pui-yuet happens to be the father or the mother.  Even though I was aware of this, I was still surprised to hear from my friend that the pui-yuet was more accommodating when her MIL gave the instructions but completely ignored her own mother.  It was quite amusing to note as well that when my MIL was standing watch over my pui-yuet as she changed Gavin’s diaper, her normally calm and experienced manner with which she handled him was suddenly all thumbs.
• For whatever reason, if you discharge the pui-yuet early, she still has to be paid the full amount agreed upon unless it was a mutual agreement to part ways before the end of the month.  For instance, in my case, we decided we didn’t need the pui-yuet after Chinese New Year and she herself wanted to take on another job that would overlap with mine if she were to finish the month with me.  We agreed to pro-rate her pay and part ways.

There are also a few additional points that a new mother ought to be aware of when she looks for a pui-yuet which have nothing to do with tradition.  From my understanding, most pui-yuets are not in favour of breast-feeding so it is best to be clear on your desire to breastfeed during your preliminary discussions.  Please do not end up  like a friend of mine who lamented to me that the result of her inability to breastfeed was due to her pui-yuet who sabotaged her efforts to breastfeed.

It is speculated that pui-yuets do not encourage breastfeeding because of the increased night duty involved.  Breastfed babies are thought to require more night time responsibilities such as frequent stirrings for night feeds and diaper changes.  Don’t quote me on this - it is just a theory.

Pui-yuets also have their own way of doing things so if you have a specific way you want your baby to be bathed or handled, it is best to get this cleared up front to avoid battles during the month when you will be in no condition to argue your point.  It is unfortunate but pui-yuets tend to bully the new mother if there are any disagreements on how the baby should be handled.  This is a time when a stern talk from the MIL will come in handy.

The best way to avoid an unpleasantness is to discuss everything and outline your expectations before agreeing to sign on the pui-yuet.  Hash out any potential problems you can anticipate before the actual month takes place.  If your mother or MIL is engaging the pui-yuet on your behalf, make sure you meet her before hand because you are the one who has to live with her.  One month is a long time to be with someone you don’t get along with.

Popularity: 11% [?]

Recently there was a request for more information on Chinese herbs to consume post-caesarian. I don’t know much on that area, but while I was pregnant, I did look up some information on confinement cooking and I found these titles at MPH bookstore:

The Essence of Confinement by Amy Wong

Recipes for Pregnancy & Confinement by Patsie Cheong

Popularity: 11% [?]

Photo taken by HL.

Recently two of my friends delivered their babies and they are both going through the traditional one month confinement period like I did. Both of them are also being taken care of by confinement ladies and both of them are breastfeeding. After talking to both of them about some of the advice they were told to follow, I felt compelled to write about it. I am not opposed to the idea of a confinement so long as the practice makes sense and does not cause harm. That said, there are two confinement practices that I completely oppose to.

The first is the practice of not consuming vegetables and fruits. The reason for this is because after delivery, it is believed that a woman’s body loses a lot of heat and she becomes too cool. The period of confinement is supposed to help her regain her heat and all practices during that month are intended to help her warm up her body. All food are believed to have either “heating” or “cooling” properties and most fruits and vegetables fall under the category of “cool” food hence they become taboo foods for a postpartum mother.

After a natural delivery, I think most mothers will agree me that the last thing they want to do is to get constipated. Although the doctors say that we can exert the “normal” amount of pressure during the act of defecation, the fear of tearing our stitches is very real. When your stitched wound is accompanied by haemorrhoids, it exacerbates the reluctance to “push” during defecation.

I don’t know about other Moms, but I certainly wasn’t about to stop my fiber intake so that I could have rocks for stools and aggravate a particularly tender site trying to get rid of them. I still clearly remember the first day I stopped the suppositories that were helping me defecate - I had cold sweats in the toilet because I was constipated and I didn’t dare “push”. Without going into further detail, I ended up having to call the nurse for assistance. I vowed I would never get into that situation again so there was no way I was going to listen to someone tell me I couldn’t eat them during the confinement month.

For Moms who still want to adhere to the confinement practice, there are certain allowances that can be made. I have been told that certain fruits and veggies can be overlooked because they are “less windy” and “less cooling”. Fruits such as apples and grapes are fine, and vegetables like spinach can be consumed.

The second confinement practice I disagree with is the belief that a mother should not consume water. On a regular day, we need eight glasses of water to stay hydrated and more if it is hot and we sweat a lot. On top of that, a nursing Mom also needs to replenish the fluids she loses from making breastmilk for her baby. If you don’t consume enough fluids, not only will you become dehydrated, but the fiber you’re consuming to help you defecate will be useless.

Most Moms in confinement are told they can only drink red date water and drinks like Milo. Although these are fluids too, one glass is not equivalent to a glass of water. If you insist on avoiding the water, you’ll have to drink a lot more to make up for the lack of fluids.

More posts on Confinement:

On The Confinement Month
The Story Behind the Confinement
Antenatal Practices During Confinement

Popularity: 7% [?]

One of the main ingredients a post-partum mother has to eat is ginger. Ginger apparently helps remove the “wind” that has accumulated in the mother’s body after delivery. How did the wind get in my body - I have absolutely no idea. According to traditional Eastern medicine, wind in the body is bad because it can cause a person to develop medical conditions later in life, such as rheumatism.

Time and time again, I’ve been nagged by various, well-meaning relatives on the importance of resting and taking care of myself in the one month after delivery to ensure that I preserve my future health. Even my MIL has been nagging me about my habit of washing my hair in the evenings and leaving it to air-dry. A couple of times she sternly said that there should be no more evening hair washing, even if I intend to blow-dry it with a hair dryer. Washing you hair is apparently one of the ways “wind” gets into your body and that’s why confinement practices stipulate no hair washing for some twelve to twenty days post delivery.

I’ve digressed, so back to the ginger and the confinement. After the ginger rice tea my MIL made for me, I glad she decided to buy me the ginger honey - which was a lot more palatable. Although I enjoy the flavour of ginger in foods like ginger ale and ginger bread, I’m afraid I dislike it in almost everything else. I think I can now add ginger honey to my list.

Hmmm… I think I detect an association with my preferences here. What’s different about the gingery foods I’ll happily consume? They all contain sugar… copious amounts of it.

The other liquid my MIL has said I should drink during my confinement is called “red date water”. Now that I am okay with. As long as I don’t have to drink ginger rice tea, I think the confinement drinks should go down fairly easily.

Popularity: 5% [?]

Ever since I’ve been told I’m getting a confinement lady, my Western-educated brain has been trying to consolidate the differences in practices between East and West. I’ve been looking up and reading as much as I can about confinement practices in the hopes of identifying the “good” practices to adhere to from the ones that I can safely ignore.

I realise that every belief is based upon some fundamental truth and expounded upon with beliefs and superstitions. In order to gain the best of both worlds, I wanted to know the scientific reasoning behind the practices so I could remove the layers of superstitions and just take away the beneficial aspects.

I, personally do not have any issues accommodating these age-old confinement practices so long as there are no safety issues, and it isn’t too much of an inconvenience to me. If there are truly benefits that I can see from specific practices, I am also willing to subject myself to more than a little inconvenience for baby’s sake. For instance, I’ve been told numerous times that breastfeeding is an arduous task, especially in the early days, but for the sake of the baby, I am willing to endure it.

The main difficulty I have encountered is the lack of documented material which helps separate fact from fiction - other than the personal testimonials and experiences of mothers. The following two excerpts are some scant pieces of information I have been able to garner.

Below is an explanation of Chinese concept of Yin and Yang, from “Asian Mothers Western Birth 2ed: Pregnancy, Childbirth and Childrearing : the Asian Experience in… By Pranee Liamputtong Rice”

According to the theory, health is the outcome of humoral equilibrium; illness due to an imbalance of either hot of cold humours in the body, and to a lesser degree, to imbalances of “wet” and “dry” humours and to “wing” or air. The diagnosis of an illness identifies the imbalance of hot or cold and treatment involves steps to correct this – hence a hot illness (such as measles) is treated with foods that are regarded as cold (including many fruits and vegetables), whilst a cold illness (respiratory infections are frequently so classified) is treated with hot foods and drinks, which are often high in energy and/or fats or sugars (depending on the area, these may include chicken, ginger, black pepper and coffee). Medication may also be classified as hot or cold, as determined by the imputed effect of the food or medicine on the body.

Physiological events such as pregnancy and parturition also disrupt humoural balance, and require careful dietary and other behavioural precautions to maintain good health during that period and to prevent later illness. The body is said to be “hot” in pregnancy, although in some cases the first trimester is regarded as “cold” (Manderson and Mathews, 1985), and the humoral balances change as the pregnancy progresses.

There is another article about about confinement practices on Urban Baby called “‘Doing the month’: Ancient tradition meets modern motherhood - by Anne Williams” which provided some great insight behind some of the reasons for certain confinement practices. Here is an excerpt:

Where did confinement come from, and how do mothers safely honour a tradition whose basis was formed long before modern medicine?

Zuo Yuezi

The Chinese tradition of Zuo Yuezi (Cho Yuet in Cantonese) dictates that for 40 days from the birth of their children, mothers must stay inside and avoid bathing, washing their hair or brushing their teeth. They must cover their heads to prevent chills, keep the windows closed, and remain in bed for as long as possible.

Zuo Yuezi – which loosely translates into doing the month – also requires mothers to avoid all forms of stress, including crying, shouting and talking for an entire cycle of the moon. While ‘doing the month,’ mothers can’t eat ‘cold’ foods such as cool drinks, ice cream, fruits or vegetables. Instead, they must load up on ‘hot’ foods like boiled eggs and chicken and fish soup. Along with the tradition is a famous Chinese postpartum ‘decoction’ known as Shenghua Tang – an herbal cleansing and purifying remedy.

Origins in Chinese Medicine Medical writings about Zuo Yuezi can be traced to the Qing Dynasty (1644 – 1911). According to Yi-Li Wu, associate professor of history at Albion College in Michigan, early Chinese medical writings described conditions such as eclampsia, maternal tetanus and other postpartum diseases that are still deadly today if left untreated.

Essentially, ‘doing the month’ was a primitive form of quarantine to prevent postpartum complications. If you analyze Zuo Yuezi in an early medical context, many of the practices made sense. The avoidance of bathing and teeth-brushing was a way to prevent water-borne illness; staying indoors helped women and babies avoid exposure to communicable diseases, and covering the head protected new mothers from catching a ‘chill.’

Food-wise, the proteins and iron found in eggs, meat and fish provided mothers with strength and muscle repair. Rest and heavy consumption of hot soup helped prevent dehydration, kept moms warm and was believed to promote the production of breast milk. Most importantly, the legendary herbal decoction of Shenghua Tang was thought to purify the female body and help slow vaginal bleeding.

The Power of Superstition

‘Doing the month’ wasn’t only a product of Chinese medicine. Without scientific explanations for the phenomena of the times, many ancient cultures developed devout beliefs in the supernatural.

For example, some of the fear of leaving home in the first month after birth had to do with evil spirits seeking to steal babies. More common was the belief that spirits and pregnant women were out to steal breast milk. Out of these superstitions came the avoidance of expectant mothers and strangers during Zuo Yuezi.

Baby snatchers were the reason that the Chinese did not give first-born children their official names until ‘doing the month’ was over. Instead, a newborn was given a little name or nickname to trick the evil spirits. Many parents continued to use the nickname throughout their children’s lives.

Zuo Yuezi Today

Whether or not you believe in Chinese medicine or superstitions surrounding ‘doing the month,’ there is no doubt that belief plays a significant role in one’s feeling of health and well-being.

For views of mothers who have been through confinement, you can find them at My Mom’s Best. I find myself particularly in sync with “Mom to Leonard, Lucas and Laurenz“. Dobbs also provides her study of one where she did not follow the rules of confinement and appears to be free from the common ailments believed to be due to non-adherence to the rules.

If you’re interested to read more about confinement practices, there’s a good article from Nursing Center: “Postpartum Beliefs and Practices Among Non-Western Cultures“. Unfortunately there is no explanation between the good and the bad of each practice.

On the consumption of herbs and their effect on breastfeeding, there is a good article on Breastfeeding.com, although the list is not a comprehensive one. Whilst it is okay to consume some herbs in small quantities, certain herbs are not advised for breastfeeding mothers. I would suggest to be aware of what you are consuming and to err on the side of caution where doubt arises.

Popularity: 6% [?]

Since it was the Spring Harvest Festival yesterday, I spent the afternoon with my MIL and she started sharing with me some of the things she had to go through during her confinement period. I know the advice is well intended, but I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to adhere to all of them. She had said there was even more but she wouldn’t tell me about it because she knows it would be too much for me. Well, I didn’t have the heart to tell her than what little she told me was already too much for me.

Here are some of the tips she shared with me:

The Chinese have a belief that all of life hangs in a balance between two opposites - the Yin and the Yang. When talking about health, the two opposites are “heatiness” and “coolness”. In the ordinary lives of most people, the bigger problem of the two is often being too “heaty”. To combat “heatiness” we are required to eat foods that are considered “cooling” and do things that will help to “cool” down the body.

In the case of a pregnant woman, after birth, she has lost a lot of her “heat”, so her danger is not from being “overheated” but from being “overcooled”. That is why she is made to eat foods like ginger and drink fluids like wine and other alcohol to help regain the body’s heat. There is an additional belief that these will also help to get rid of “wind” in the body and certain foods will also remove the stale blood. I’m not sure how the wind got in, but I suppose it was during the process of giving birth. As for the stale blood, I think they are referring to the vaginal discharge that occurs after birth.

To help the mother regain her heat after birth, she has to avoid bathing and washing her hair as these activities trap wind inside and only serve to “cool” her down further. They often advise keeping warm and wearing socks for the same reasons - to keep as much of the heat in as possible. I’m sure all this makes sense in a country with a cold climate, but I really can’t imagine how anyone could put up with this in tropical country when sitting still in an airless room is sufficient to cause one to sweat profusely.

My MIL also said she couldn’t bear the idea of not bathing or washing her hair, so she did - about once every five or six days. Oh dear, and here I was thinking that I’d be washing everyday, although I would be well behaved and use the hair dryer where ordinarily I don’t even own one, let alone use one. She also told me that she was advised to rub her scalp with brandy and it would help to reduce antenatal hairloss.

Well, antenatal hairloss is due to the fact that we have accumulated more hair during pregnancy due to a shortening of the hair loss cycle and increased periods of hair growth. The loss of hair merely returns your hair thickness to the state it was in prior to the pregnancy. I have noticed myself that since being pregnant, I have hardly lost any hair whereas prior to the pregnancy, I would be dropping hair every day until my bathroom was so full of my hair, I could probably make a wig out of it!

It was also suggested that I leave the bathing of the baby to the care of the confinement lady to avoid getting my hands wet unnecessarily. I’ll explain the significance of wetting hands below. I suppose since the confinement also serves as a nanny to the baby and would be far more experienced than me in bathing the baby, I don’t really have any issues with this. It is, after all, part of what she is employed to do. My only concern is to ensure that I am capable of bathing the baby on my own before she leaves.

I was also advised not to wash my hands with water, but to carry a damp towel to wipe my hands when required. I’m not sure if I can abide by this one because prior to breast feeding, it is recommended that we wash our hands to reduce the likelihood of transfering germs to the baby. I don’t think it will be pleasant for baby to suffer from oral thrush that Mummy passed it to him because she refuses to clean her hands before handling his food.

The reasoning behind not washing the hands is because the contact with water is believed to trap wind in the body which will result in joint pains in the hands later on in life. Well, I already have stiffness in my hands and it’s due to Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. If I were to suffer from joint pains later in life, I would most likely attribute it to the damage I’ve done to the ligaments in my fingers after cranking on crimps while rock climbing.

A lot of the confinement superstitions appear to me to be based around the concept of “prevention”. For instance, “Do this now and you won’t develop ailments later on in life,” or “You’re young now, but you’ll suffer later if you don’t listen me”. In all honesty, how many will be able to grow old gracefully without developing any medical conditions? I’ve often heard aunts and other female relatives telling me how they didn’t believe this stuff when they were young and now they are suffering for their foolishness. My question I pose in return is, “How do you know that you wouldn’t still be suffering what you have now if you HAD done all those things you were told to do?”

With regards to drinks, I was advised not to take plain water. Why? Because plain water contained no nutrients and a mother recovering from birth needs to ensure that everything she consumes is of value. My MIL prepared some ginger rice tea for me to drink and told me this was one of the drinks I should consuming in place of place of water during my confinement. The first few sips went down quite easily. Unfortunately, I found myself gagging a little towards the dredges of the cup. It reminded me of that vile stuff my mother used to boil for my brother and me and forced us to drink when we were kids. I wonder how I’m going to survive days of drinking nothing but this. I sincerely hope the confinement food is not as bad or I had better start stocking up some snacks in my room.

On the point of breastfeeding, my MIL said she would supplement her children’s feeds with formula because they ate so much her breast milk didn’t seem to be enough. It’s not her fault she felt this way. It is a common misconception a lot of women and family members have with regards to breastmilk. Because you can’t see how much the baby’s taken, there is always a fear that the baby hasn’t consumed enough. What she was not taught, which we now know, is that breastmilk is produced on baby’s demand. If she had placed baby more frequently on the breast, the milk would have been sufficient. By supplementing with formula, she had unwittingly jeopardised her own milk supply.

This is another example where the information once believed to hold true is now obsolete. They didn’t know back then that no formula could ever replace what breast milk can provide. I remember the 70s being the years were “man-made” was believed to be superior to “mother nature”. Ah, the arrogance of human beings to think we could manufacture something superior to what God had created.

My MIL was also taught that all babies must be fed with some water and she seemed somewhat surprised when we informed her that the nurse advised no water was required when breastfeeding the baby. I had also read in Asian Parenting that because the baby’s stomach is so small, the baby needs to ensure that whatever is consumed provides nutrients. Water merely serves to occupy space without providing any nutritious content towards the baby’s development.

I also heard from my MIL of the belief that a Guinness bath will help to reduce jaundice in the baby. I don’t think she was seriously considering it, but it seemed to be very much in vogue during her time. I do know it is still practiced by some, although I have to question the wisdom of this belief.

We know that a mother’s consumption of alcohol during pregnancy leads to fetal alcohol syndrome and this was only discovered in 1968. In fact a mother who takes as little as two drinks a day can still deliver a baby with mild symptoms of fetal alcohol syndrome. After being aware of the damage alcohol can cause to a baby and that alcohol is readily absorbed through a baby’s fine skin, I don’t think I’m willing to accept the idea that because this was practiced before without apparent consequences, it should be okay for Gavin.

I have been told before - whatever you can follow without too much inconvenience, just follow for the sake of harmony, but I also believe we should not blindly follow advice if there are possible ramifications that result from them.

Popularity: 6% [?]

After all the debates on this topic, I’m finally going to have a confinement lady. I figure that this is one of those things where it is just easier to accept and endure it than to have to listen to the constant nagging that I don’t know how to take care of myself postnatally.

On the request of my MIL, I borrowed the confinement cookbook that my aunt used when she nursed my cousin in Australia after the delivery of the baby. After flicking through the book, I have noticed a discernible lack of beef dishes and I’m wondering if that has something to do with religious connotations of beef or a confinement belief that beef is bad for new mothers. I did see one or two beef dishes in another confinement cookbook while browsing through MPH so perhaps beef has been omitted from this particularly cookbook for religious reasons.

Some of the dishes look okay, but I have serious reservations over the ones containing pig spareparts (liver, kidneys, trotters, tripe and offals) and fish maw. The book also encourages the consumption of ginger, to which my MIL has agreed that I don’t have to eat it as long as I allowed my food to be cooked with it.

The cook book also contains a short but interesting segment about the purpose of the confinement period. After pregnancy, the mother’s uterus has expanded from the size of a pear to the size of a large winter melon. The main function of the confinement period, therefore, is to nurture the new mother’s body back to its prenatal form. The belief is that if the mother does not take care during this time, she will be predisposing herself to ailments that will surface later on in life.

Historically, it has always been the duty of the MIL to take care of the new mother. Part of the reason MILs were keen for their DILs to recover quickly was so that they could conceive again and possibly add another name to the ancestral line. There is also a traditional belief that new mothers were not allowed to come into contact with their own parents because of the “stale blood” and “evil wind” inside their bodies which would bring bad luck to her family. Funny, if that were the case, then wouldn’t she also be bad luck to her in laws?

In some instances, families will employ a “pui-yuet” (meaning companion for a month) or confinement lady to look after the new mother and baby. Pui-yuets are usually middle-aged women who have a great deal of knowledge on postnatal matters through her own experiences.

Some of the strict confinement rules were briefly listed by the author based on her own confinement experience. She wasn’t allowed to wash her hair during the confinement period and she could only mop her body on certain days. She was not allowed to read or watch television because it would strain her eyes. The strict diet was enforced to help her remove the “stale blood” and “wind” from her system. She had to endure body binding and was made to rest as and when the pui-yuet commanded. She and her husband were also banned from having sex for 100 days after birth.

The author saw the merits of having a confinement lady because she was able to slip back into her pre-pregnancy clothes immediately after the confinement period. After glancing through the sample menu of what she was made to eat during her confinement period, I’m not particularly surprised. I think I would barely have been able to stomach half of what she was made to eat!

Okay, I know I’m being nasty and cynical but I admit, I am a sceptic when someone talks to me of “stale blood” and “wind”. I can already feel my eyes rolling to the back of my head and a sigh catching in my throat. I’m disinclined to believe things such as bathing a baby or touching water during the confinement period causing rheumatism later on in life. If there are people who believe this, it is their choice. I do not dictate what you should believe in. All I ask is that you do not dictate what I believe in.

Since this is one of those arguments one can never win, I shall employ a tactic recommended by Big Big Planet called TINROWA. Even though that tactic was recommended for internet arguments, I think it applies equally well for such instances.

Popularity: 6% [?]

The hubby and I were over at a friend’s house the other night and the topic of discussion fell onto the confinement practice of not bathing and washing hair for a period of some twenty days (I think).

Anyway, I know the hubby thinks me one of the biggest grots that ever walked the earth and to be fair to the hubby’s comment, I was a grot. I could go rock climbing for a whole day on Sunday and rock up to a restaurant for dinner caked in dirt. I remember a number of times when I drew a number of incredulous stares from shoppers in 1Utama as I waltz casually about the shopping mall in a rather grimy disarray.

I have been hiking for four days in a row with only a stream to bathe in. I’ve put on the same grubby clothes for the same duration of time. I’ve gone camping in jungles where I’ve had to dig my own toilet, slept in a sleeping bag with only a fly sheet for cover, played in numerous waterfalls, and had my blood sucked out by leeches.

Yep, you could say I’ve had my fill of grotty days, so what is my problem about going without a shower for three weeks?

Well, since the pregnancy, I haven’t been able to tolerate the sensation of feeling sticky or walking around with unwashed hair. I have been taking more frequent showers than ever in my entire life.

Add to that fact that I have a separate rule for cleanliness “in” and “out” of the jungle. When I’m trekking, my only thought is about sleep, food, and making it to the peak and out again. Worrying about when my next shower will be suddenly seems pretty low on the priority list. Call it the survivor’s instinct, or whatever pleases you, but there it is…

I guess what I’m saying, in conclusion, is that I doubt I’m going to be very obedient to the confinement rule of not bathing and washing my hair…

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