I’ve often heard about mother’s instincts where a mother just seem to know what her kids want or what they are trying to communicate. Such instincts are great to have because they allow you to head off tantrums if you can anticipate certain behaviours or grasp what your toddler is trying to say before he gets frustrated.
I used to think that this instinct was due to some magical connection between parent and child - a talent that some parents just naturally had and others didn’t. I also worried that I was going to be a parent that fell into the latter category. Now I’ve realised that all it has to do with is knowing your child - something that any parent can develop simply by spending more quality time with your child. And if you’re like me - a little slow on the uptake - then spending more time with your child is important. This is another reason why being a SAHM is great because I’m sure if I had been a working Mum, I would have been hopeless at deciphering my son’s wants and needs.
To illustrate the point:
Last Saturday, I was helping my MIL out in the kitchen when Gavin wanted to go out into the garden. Since I was busy, Daddy helped out by taking him out to see the fish. After a while, I heard Gavin saying, “Raid! Raid!”
Poor Daddy, who spends 5 and a half days a week at work, didn’t realise that “raid” means “read” - in other words: “please read Thomas the Tank Engine to me”. So Daddy kept trying to distract Gavin’s increasing frustration through other means - which only succeeded for a while before Gavin’s distress could no longer be calmed. I yelled to Daddy to read to him, but I guess he didn’t hear me. Eventually, they came back into the house with Gavin crying for me, but after I read “The Great Race” once through, Gavin was content to play with his trains.
The first time Gavin said “noodles”, he pronounced it as “nunu” - which sounded more like “no, no” rather than “noodle”. Call it instinct, but I think it is more likely due to the sum of my experiences with Gavin all processed at a subconscious level that made me realise he meant to say “noodle”.
And when he first started referring to “Milo” as “Mi”, I guessed it because I sometimes made reference to Milo as chocholate milk.
Likewise, I finally figured out that “dunno” meant “Thomas” when I was teaching him the concept of “big” and “small”.
Even for a lot of ASL signs, Gavin’s ability to reproduce the sign exactly is still limited to the capabilities of his manual dexterity. For instance, he signs juice with his index finger instead of his pinky. It is easy to learn what he means through careful observation and taking note of the context in which something is used.
Now that he is learning how to articulate, he often practices his words by voicing them out loud. That differs from a request because he doesn’t really look at anyone in particular and he doesn’t get upset or repeat himself with more urgency in his voice when you don’t seem to be getting him.
Generally, a lot of new words and cues can be learned just by spending time with a child. In fact, I’ve realised that this is the fundamental requirement for learning anything about a child or infant - especially if you’re someone like me who has no intuitive knack for kids. On Sunday night, I carried a two month old baby girl and felt extremely awkward because I didn’t know how she needed to be held. Even though I have the past experience of carrying Gavin at two months old, I didn’t know her like I knew my own son (whom I had spent everyday with since he was conceived).
I guess it’s quite obvious - if you want to understand your child, just spend more time with him. But in a day and age where there are so many distractions, it is an easy one to forget.

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