I’m sure many parents have been told at one time or another that continually picking up their crying babies would “spoil” them. It has also been said that babies manipulate parents through crying.

Studies have now shown that this is neurobiologically incorrect. The human brain consists of three parts - two of which are the from our evolutionary origins: the reptilian brain (brain stem and cerebellum), the mammalian brain (limbic system), and the rational brain (cortex and frontal lobes).

The reptilian brain is responsible for essential bodily functions that help sustain life, including hunger, digestion, elimination, breathing, circulation, temperature, movement, posture, balance, territorial instincts, and the fight or flight response.

The mammalian brain is responsible for emotions such as fear, rage, separation distress, caring and nurturing, social bonding, playfulness, explorative urge, and lust in adults.

The rational brain provides higher brain functions responsible for creativity, imagination, problem-solving, reasoning, reflection, self-awareness, kindness, empathy and concern.

When a baby is born, much of the rational brain is undeveloped. They are ruled largely by their reptilian and mammalian brains in the first few years of life. “In order to control an adult, a baby needs the power of clear thought, and for that he needs the brain chemical glutamate to be working well in his frontal lobes [within the rational brain]. But the glutamate system is not properly established in a baby’s brain, so that means he is not capable of thinking much about anything, let alone how to manipulate his parents” (Sunderland 39).

When humans first evolved and began to walk on two legs, our pelvis became narrower. As we got smarter, our brains also increased in size. A narrower pelvis and an bigger head meant that babies had to be evicted from the womb “about three months before they are fully mature” or they would not be able to get through the birth canal safely (Karp 65). As such, babies behave like an external foetus at birth and require a fourth trimester outside the womb.

A baby is born with a very limited repertoire of actions - the ability to cry to communicate his needs, the root reflex for feeding, excretion and sleep. Crying is a baby’s only means of saying, “I’m tired”, “I’m hungry”, or “I’m overstimulated”.

A baby moves easily into fear of threat and shock… too bright, too harsh, too cold, too hot, too sudden. The amygdala in the lower brain, which functions as a detector for potential threat, is perfectly online at birth… How can she know that the noisy liquidiser is not a predator that will come and attack her? How can she cope with the shock of being undressed and immersed in water when you lower her into a bath? (Sunderland 37)

When a baby cries, he is not trying to exercise his lungs or control his parent. He cries because he is communicating a need whether emotional or physical. A baby’s emotional need is no less important than a physical need. When a baby has an emotional need that is unfulfilled, the pain he feels can be as strong as a physical hurt.

When a baby cries to be picked up, she is not being “needy” or “clingy”. “The separation distress system, located in the lower brain, is genetically programmed to be hypersensitive [because] in earlier stages of evolution, it was very dangerous for an infant to be away from her mother… if she didn’t cry to alert her [mother] her whereabouts, she would not survive” (Sunderland 50). With age, the development of the rational brain helps to keep the separation distress system in check.

Babies can’t be spoiled and they don’t know how to manipulate. It’s a fact. The difficulty then is identifying the moment when their awareness kicks in and they start to realise that certain actions produce specific results.

Sunderland, Margot. The Science of Parenting. London: Dorling Kindersley, 2006.

Karp, Harvey. The Happiest Baby on the Block. New York: Bantam Dell, 2002.

Popularity: 11% [?]

Above: Gavin looking a little like Hiro Nakamura from the TV series “Heroes”.

Popularity: 6% [?]

“Your baby’s ready to greet the world!” He continues to build up fat to help control his body temperature after birth, but it’s likely he already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds. (Newborn boys tend to be slightly heavier than newborn girls.) Your baby’s organs are fully developed and in place, and the outer layers of skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath. Your baby should remain as active as ever right up to delivery.

Well, he doesn’t seem to want to greet the world… I’m still waiting and I still have no further signs. As for weight, he’s closer to 8 pounds than 7. And the part about Newborn boys who tend to be slightly heavier than newborn girls… Well, I certainly broke that mould when I arrived into the world weighing a pound more than my brother did.

Interesting points of note in this week’s newsletter:

SIDS

Risk factors:

• Having a parent or caregiver who smokes (well, the hubby has stopped so, that’s good)
• Tummy sleeping
• Premature or very low birth weight (based on what the doctor has been telling us, I doubt we’ll have to worry about this)
• Overheating while sleeping
• Sleeping on a soft surface
• A mother who smoked or abused drugs during pregnancy
• A mother under the age of 20 at the time of pregnancy
• Suffering an apparent life-threatening event
• Certain ethnicities
• Gender - boys have a slightly higher risk than girls

Reducing the risk of SIDS:

• Put baby to sleep on his back
• Take care of yourself and your unborn baby during your pregnancy
• Do not allow smoking around your baby
• Choose bedding carefully
• Avoid overheating baby
• Try to reduce exposure to infection

Other cause and effects:

• While there’s no evidence that breastfeeding reduces the incidence of SIDS, it does reduce respiratory and gastrointestinal infections which are linked to SIDS
• Whether co-sleeping is linked to SIDS is still quite controversial, so whether you decide to or not, there are a few tips from baby center to keep in mind (we’ve opted not to co-sleep mainly because I’ve been smacked by the hubby a couple of times in his sleep before)
• Swaddling appears to help because it helps baby to sleep more comfortably, but be careful of overheating
• Use of pacifiers appears to lower the incidence of SIDS - although the link may be incidental. However pacifiers are linked with other disadvantages
• Currently there is no evidence that sleep monitors - other than the medical ones that have been prescribed by the doctor - decreases the incidence of SIDS (does that mean the angelcare we bought is not really that useful after all?)
• Likewise, special crib mattresses have also do not appear to make a difference (ditto for the Safe ‘n’ Sound mattress?)
• A sleepsack or wearable blanket can help if you are worried about not using a blanket for your baby as it prevents the blanket from accidentally slipping over the baby’s head (well, at least we got one thing right!)

Read the full article for more information.

Inducing Labour

I found this article quite interesting since I could very well end up with one…

Reasons for inducing labour:

• Your water breaks and your labor doesn’t start on its own within a reasonable amount of time.
• You’re one to two weeks past your due date. Most practitioners won’t let you wait longer than that to give birth because it puts you and your baby at greater risk for a host of problems. For example, it’s more likely you’ll develop an infection in your uterus that could be dangerous for your baby, or that your placenta will stop functioning properly, which could lead to a stillbirth or a baby born with serious problems. Additionally, your labor is more likely to be prolonged or stalled, increasing risk of injury for both mother and baby during a vaginal delivery, and your chances of needing a c-section are higher.
• Your placenta isn’t functioning properly, you have too little amniotic fluid, or your baby isn’t thriving or growing as he should.
• You develop preeclampsia, a serious condition that can endanger your health and restrict the flow of blood to your baby.
• You have a chronic or acute illness — such as high blood pressure, diabetes, or kidney disease — that threatens your health or the health of your baby.
• You’ve previously had a full-term stillbirth.

Techniques to induce labour:

• Stripping or sweeping the membranes (my friend C had this done and it sounds terribly painful…)
• Using prostaglandin medications (I think this is the usual method they use at the hospital here)
• Breaking the waterbag - although the cervix needs to be a few centimeters dilated to do this
• Using pitocin which is a synthetic version of the hormone oxytocin - the hormone that your body produces when you go into labour

What are the risks of induction:

• If it doesn’t work, you’ll need a c-section
• C-sections after failed inductions are associated with higher rates of complications
• If the uterus is hyperstimulated, resulting in contractions that are too often, abnormally long and strong, can stress the baby

When should induction be avoided:

• Tests indicate that the baby needs to be delivered immediately or cannot tolerate contractions
• You have a placenta previa; you have a vasa previa (when blood vessels from the umbilical cord are embedded in the amniotic membranes and at risk for rupture during labor); or the cord is lying in front of your baby’s head and could be compressed as his head enters the birth canal or prolapse through your cervix when your water breaks
• Your baby is in breech
• You’ve had more than one c-section
• You’ve had a c-section with a vertical incision
• You have twins and the first baby is in breech
• You have active genital herpes

Read the full article for more information.

Caring for newborns: Tips from new parents

Prepare as much as you can ahead of time
Ask for — and accept — help
Let the machine get it
Accept visitors only when you’re ready
Rest up
Go outside
Know your limits
Trust your gut
Tell yourself: This, too, shall pass

What happens after the delivery:

• You’ll start losing weight right away. While you probably won’t return to your pre-pregnancy weight for some time, most women are about 12 pounds lighter after delivering one 7- to 9-pound baby and losing another pound or two of placenta and at least a pound of blood and amniotic fluid. Although it will take a while for your body to regain its pre-pregnancy shape — that pregnant belly may stick around for longer than you’d like — by the end of the first week, you’ll probably have lost about 4 pounds of water weight.
• You’ll have lochia discharge. After your baby is born, the lining of your uterus will begin to slough off. This results in a discharge called lochia that lasts for weeks. At first, this discharge is mixed with blood, so it appears bright red and menstrual-like, then it gradually gets lighter in color, finally fading to white or yellow before it stops.
• Your emotions will be in flux. Within the first two to three weeks of giving birth, 60 to 80 percent of new moms experience the “baby blues.” You may find yourself moody and weepy, exhausted, unable to sleep, or feeling trapped or anxious. Your appetite can change — you might want to eat more or less — or you might feel irritable, nervous, or worried about being a mother. The good news is this emotional upheaval will generally pass within two to four weeks.

When to call the doctor and what to watch out for:

• You’re soaking a pad an hour: it may be a sign of postpartum hemorrhaging.
• You feel flu-like symptoms: it might be a case of mastitis, an inflammation of the breast.
• You have any signs of infection or pain around the incision from an episiotomy, tear, or c-section.
• You’re unable to sleep even when your baby sleeps, you have any thoughts of harming your child, or you’re crying all day long for several days in a row or having panic attacks. These are signs of postpartum depression.

Tips for recovering quickly:

• Sleep when your baby sleeps.
• Limit visitors and the time you spend with them.
• Eat a well-balanced diet.
• Drink plenty of fluids.
• Accept all offers for help with cooking, cleaning, childcare, errands, and the like. If you aren’t receiving offers, ask for help. It’s hard, but trust us, your friends and family want to help and most will be honored you asked. If you can’t get help for free, consider hiring a mother’s helper, cleaning lady, or others who can give you a break.
• Don’t isolate yourself. Talking to friends, relatives, and other new moms about your birth experience and life with a newborn can help you cope.

Popularity: 7% [?]

While shopping for the baby monitors a couple of nights back, the hubby reminded me that we hadn’t gotten any red, white and black toys for Gavin. In the early stages, babies respond best to objects in these colours because their vision is not so well developed. Hubby suggested I make something.

My first thought was, “What the heck can I make for Gavin?”

After pondering about it for a while, I found myself taking to the idea of creating something for Gavin. Since Gavin won’t be so “interactive” during the early days, I suppose I’ll be looking at making something more for him to look at rather than play with. How hard could that be? I remember doing origami when I was a kid.

While thinking of what to make, I came across a couple of blog posts from Scribbit on Christmas ideas:

Christmas Gift Wrapping Ideas

Tiny Gift Boxes

They looked so pretty, I figured they could work just as well hanging on a mobile for a baby to look at. Scribbit’s also got lots of other great ideas on her blog so I think I’ll mosey on over there and check out her old archives.

As for materials, I recall an art shop located on L2, next to MPH Bookstore in 1Utama where I’m sure I’ll be able to find some useful stuff. Alternatively, I do recall that MPH also sells coloured paper in their stationary section which could work pretty well, too.

Perhaps there is hope for creativity in these fingers after all…

Popularity: 5% [?]

After my previous post about antenatal practices, I managed to find a reference to alcohol baths for baby in Asian Parenting Today stating that “many studies have shown that alcohol can affect a baby’s neurological development” and that “bathing baby in plain water is still best”.

Popularity: 6% [?]

I have often marvelled at people who instinctly know how to communicate with babies and toddlers. I envy the way they easily make a child laugh and giggle because I am totally clueless in that arena. Whenever I play a child, I’m often stumped with what noises to make and which actions would bring about the most amusement for the child.

I never bothered to do anything about it before because I could always leave these activities to somebody who knew better. Now that I am about to have a baby of my own, I thought it was about time that I start learning how to be parent, more specifically, how best to raise my baby so that he can realise his full potential.

I found the following book at Popular Book store. It’s also available online from Amazon where it seems to be cheaper that what I paid for it:

Okay, so I got sold by the blurb stating that the Baby Talk method can help make my baby smarter… Well, more specifically to maximise the potential of my baby’s intelligence.

The Baby Talk method described in the book by Dr Sally Ward is based on her research and clinical practice as a speech pathologist working with adults and children with speech impediments. By transferring these methods to “normal” children who are developing speech more slowly than their peers, she has shown that these children can catch up and even surpass their peers in language acquisition.

In her book, Ward outlines some simple thirty minute routines that parents can practice with their babies. These routines are designed to optimise the baby’s language development and to enhance the baby’s concentration and learning ability.

Her concern is that with increasing levels of noise pollution in our environment, it has been observed that children in schools had poor concentration and listening skills. These in turn resulted in below average levels of achievement for their age. Baby Talk teaches children how to filter out unwanted noise and concentrate on specific sounds (an ability that adults take for granted). By improving their listening skills, they are better able to learn.

Baby Talk is child-guided to an extent in that the focus is on the child’s area of interest. The intention is to help the child make sense of the world around them so they can form appropriate links between subjects which facilitate speech development.

I’ve read about half the book and so far everything seems to makes sense. After this, I’m going to have to start learning my nursery rhymes again…

Popularity: 5% [?]

Sometime back Utama suggested I consult some Asian sources instead on relying solely on Western practices with regards to the pregnancy. My issue at the time had been that I didn’t have any “reliable” sources. That was until a friend of mine (who used to be a midwife) recommended the following book to me. It’s called “Asian Parenting Today” by Jennifer Hor, Ho Ai Ling, and Jocelyn Oo.

The book covers Eastern and Western practices and they help new parents sort the beneficial Asian practices from the questionable practices, so I can feel comfortable giving my child the best of both worlds.

I’ve only just bought the book, so I’ll provide the review once I’m finished reading it.

Popularity: 6% [?]

Perhaps I’ve simply taken it for granted that everyone knows that breast feeding is the best start any mother could give to her child.

It would appear that I thought wrong. I guess I have been privy to this knowledge because of my studies in health science and nutrition dating as far back as high school. Had I taken the path to a different vocation, perhaps I, too, would be ignorant of this fact.

What surprised me was the number of my own family members that displayed a strong predisposition for formula over breast feeding. There was even one person who discouraged breast feeding in favour of formula (as shocking as I found that to be). Some adopt a mixed view of combination feeding (e.g. alternating between breast milk and formula).

Whilst it is not my place to dictate whether a mother should or should not breast feed her baby, I hope to provide information that would at least dispel any misconceptions about breast feeding. Every mother has a unique and blessed ability to nurture and comfort her baby during its first year of life outside the womb. I find it distressing that some mothers are deprived of this special privilege because of misinformation.

Despite being a natural progression of life, breast feeding is not necessarily as instinctive as one would expect it to be. That said it is a very rare case for a mother to be without breast milk to feed her baby. In most cases, it is usually a lack of support and understanding that prevents a mother from breast feeding.

That some mothers simply do not have enough milk to feed her baby solely on breast milk alone is also incorrect. Breast milk is produced on demand and the best way to increase milk production is to allow the baby to suckle directly from the breast. It is the baby’s suckling action that encourages further milk production. No suckling, no milk.

In the first two days after delivery, the breast does not produce milk. It produces a substance called colostrum. Colostrum is rich in all the necessary nutrients required by a newborn and is very easy to digest. It offers protective antibodies for the newborn and also helps prevent jaundice.

A common concern among parents during this early stage is that the baby may not have enough to eat. However, we should be mindful that the size of a newborn’s stomach is about the size of a grape. It is important for the baby to have frequent feeds during the early days as it sets the stage for normal milk production. Generally, the more often you feed, the better your milk production. By about the third day, colostrum will be replaced with regular breast milk.

To encourage breast feeding, it is advisable not to offer the baby any artificial pacificers for the first six weeks (there is some variation to the timing between sources), therefore, no bottle feeding of any sort. At this time, the baby is also learning how to breast feed. The introduction of pacifiers can cause confusion because the suckling action is different from that of the breast.

There are additional issues with the introduction of a bottle too early. Babies are intelligent and they soon discover that it is far easier to retrieve milk from a bottle than it is to suckle from a breast. This is the fastest way to destroy a mother’s milk supply. Although there are cases where babies happily interchange between bottles and the breast, this is not always the case, especially when the baby is very young. Where bottles are concerned, I would proceed cautiously.

A baby that is exclusively breast feeding has no need for water, because breast milk provides all the necessary fluids. The initial part of the feed is called the foremilk which is good for quenching thirst. If the baby is hungry, it will stay on the breast for longer to get the hind milk which is fatty and more filling. On the other hand, a baby that is consuming formula requires water to prevent constipation.

Most of the information on breast feeding encourages mothers to breast feed exclusively for at least the first six months. However, there is a lot of evidence pointing to continued benefits for babies who receive breast feeding for longer.

A summary of the benefits of breast feeding (you can read the full details here):

• It’s nutritional – with the right constituents for human development
• The babies have fewer illnesses because of the mother’s antibodies being passed through the milk
• Breast fed babies are less likely to develop allergies later in life
• Breast fed babies have less risk of developing obesity later in life
• More research is demonstrating that breast fed babies have more optimal brain development
• Breast feeding lowers the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome)
• Breast milk contains lots of good bacteria
• Breast milk straight from the breast is sterile
• Breast milk contains at least a hundred additional ingredients that formula does not
• No baby is allergic to their mother’s milk (although they may be allergic to some of the foods she eats, but this is easily rectified if the mother eliminates that food)
• The suckling action allows the baby to develop strong jaw muscles that encourage the growth of straight and healthy teeth
• Breast fed babies are also less likely to develop tooth decay compared to bottle fed babies
• Babies who are premature or born with medical problems have also been shown to benefit from breast feeding
• Babies who are breast fed have a stronger bond with their mothers. Some studies have shown that breast fed babies grow up to be socially more independent than their formula fed counterparts
• Babies who are breast fed tend are generally held more closely than bottle fed babies. The skin to skin contact between mother and baby provides comfort for the baby that has just been removed from the protective environment of the womb.

Of course, breast feeding is not without it own difficulties, but I would think that given the overwhelming benefits, it’s worth any inconvenience.

On the other hand, we shouldn’t neglect the fact that breast feeding is also beneficial to the mother:

• The suckling action of the baby indirectly results in the contraction of the uterus, protecting the mother from post-partum bleeding
• Exclusive breast feeding is 99% effective in preventing a second pregnancy the first six months post delivery
• Decreases the risk of developing iron-deficient anemia
• More rapid and sustained weight loss (milk production uses 200-500 calories a day)
• Decrease the risk of developing breast, ovarian and uterine cancers
• Current literature suggest that breast feeding may help protect against osteoporosis

From a personal account from a person who felt like she wasn’t cut out to be a mother: she felt that breast feeding her daughter reinforced her relationship with her baby as the mother. Of course, from the scientific perspective, psychosocial benefits are a little more difficult to analyse, however one particular study found that mothers with a history of abandonment are less likely to abandon their babies if they breastfeed the baby.

So how long should you breast feed for? The general belief is that breast feeding exclusively for 6 months to 1 year is sufficient and any benefits beyond these timelines are not significant. However, there is more and more research showing that it may be worthwhile to extend breast feeding beyond the first year.

Breastfeeding.com stated that: “in comparing humans to other primates, research showed that humans’ natural age of weaning is a minimum of two and a half years and a maximum of between six and seven years.”

Current guidelines:

The World Health Organization recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first four to six months of life and continued breastfeeding until at least two years.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for six months and continued breastfeeding for a minimum of one year, but offers no upper limit.

Popularity: 6% [?]