October is Attachment Parenting Month.  Okay, so October is nearing to an end and I’m kind of late to be blogging about it, but being an AP Mum, I felt I should write something about it.  Although I participated in the AP Carnival of Presence, I submitted an old post I had written about why I decided to become an AP Mum so I guess that one doesn’t really count.

I was glad to note, however, that I am already practicing some of the Calender of Presence activities unconsciously with Gavin, such as:

• hugging Gavin ten times a day for no reason
• holding hands as much as possible
• working on an art project together - Gavin tells me which train to draw, I draw it and then he adds colour to the picture
• creating a family memory book to commemorate time spent together (well, it’s a continuous work in progress…)
• just hang out and do nothing together
• making eye-contact when I speak to Gavin
• observing Gavin and writing down all the wonderful things I see (well, I take note and tell hubby, my MIL, my SILs or anyone else that cares to listen all about it)

I think the main benefits of being an AP Mum - at least for me anyway - is that it helps me “know” my son.  I get a sense for things that I don’t think I would otherwise have if I werent practicing AP.  And by being present (such as when I spend time drawing trains with Gavin), I can get him to cooperate with me when I need him to do something he doesn’t like doing, like changing his diaper. 

“If you want me to draw more trains for you, you have to help Mummy change your diaper.”

Gavin doesn’t usually cooperate when he sets his mind against it.  He’s also immune to bribes when he really doesn’t want to do a certain thing.  So to be able to “talk” him into agreeing to do something is a pretty big thing.

Because I’m not a particularly sensitive person (I once sat next to my girlfriend for five minutes before I realised she was crying!), I find I really need the physical and emotional closeness to Gavin to really understand him.  If I weren’t an AP Mum, Gavin and I would be banging heads so often, we’d both be having a perpetual headache.  So I guess you could say I’m really glad I found out about attachment parenting - thanks to my BFF who is one of the few AP Mums I know, but thanks to Attachment Parenting International, I now know a lot more.

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I was browsing through a blog by Casia Talbert called Healthy Moms recently and came across one of her older posts about the topic of Parenting in which she asked her readers to share their thoughts.  With Gavin demonstrating a more willful nature of late and melting down into more frequent temper tantrums, I find my mind dwelling quite considerably on this topic of late.

What do I think?  Probably too much but I would still like to share what little experience I have gained since I officially became a mother some eighteen months ago (well, technically twenty-seven months ago if you include the pregnancy).

When the hubby and I decided that we wanted to have a baby, one of my biggest concerns was not knowing how to be a good parent.  I’m not talking so much about the basic stuff like bathing, feeding, changing diapers, etc, because those are things that are easily learned.  Neither am I talking about the areas of parenting which I feel are quite clear-cut regarding what is the best option for your child.  For instance, there is plenty of evidence substantiating breastmilk as the best source of nutrition for a baby. 

For me, the part of parenting that concerned me most was discipline.  How do you raise your child so that you can take comfort in knowing that when he is at school, he will make the right choices to stay away from drugs? How can you build a bond with your child so that when he is in trouble, the first person he comes to is you? How can you give your child the best start in life so that he doesn’t end up a juvenile deliquent?

When you read so many terrible stories in the papers about individuals who open up fire on innocent bystanders you have to wonder what happened in their lives that brought them to do such horrific acts.  I think the most horrifying article I have ever read in the papers was about two ten year old boys who tortured a six year old boy.  It really makes you wonder.

Well, it made me wonder anyway. 

When Martha Sears was criticised for having 8 children and contributing to the world’s over-population, she answered, “The world needs my children.”

What can I do as a parent to raise my children so that I too might be able to say, “The world needs my children”?

When the hubby and I started talking about having a baby, I admit I didn’t know the first thing about parenting books - who were the good authors, what were the different parenting philosophies and which ones should I rely on as a resource for raising Gavin.  In some ways, I feel like I missed out on doing a lot of things “right” for Gavin, especially in his first year, because I was too overwhelmed with being a new parent and all the things I had to learn to cope with.  I was too receptive to advice - good and bad.

When it comes to parenting, I find that there is plenty of advice floating around. Being a health science student, I find that I have always tended to look for evidence to substantiate theories rather than to follow the advice of heresay even if it comes from “experienced” parents who know better than me.  Perhaps that makes me annoying, but I would rather work with theories substantiated by studies of hundreds or thousands of children rather than advice that came from a single parent whose experience is limited to one, two or even ten children.

As a first time parent, there is often a lot of trial and error with your first child as you try to navigate your way through the wealth of parenting resource and advice available out there.  Even with all my efforts to educate myself, there are many things I feel I would do differently with my second child that I regret doing or not doing with Gavin.  And if I could go back to the days when I was still pregnant with Gavin, I would read these books in preparation for parenting Gavin:

1. The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland
2. The Baby Book by William and Martha Sears

I have been criticised for being too much of a textbook parent and for relying too heavily upon what I read as opposed to “what works”.  For instance, since having Gavin, I have developed a stance against “smacking” and corporal punishment.  To be honest, I haven’t always felt this way.  I used to believe in the credo “spare the rod, spoil the child”.  What changed my views was when I read The Science of Parenting - which is a book I believe every parent should read before deciding that it is okay to smack their kids.  It was then reaffirmed when I read the parenting philosophy of Dr Sears.

I have heard the argument, “Well, my parents smacked me and I turned out okay.”  True, a child who has been smacked may turn out okay, but why would you persist with such archaic forms of discipline when you know scientifically what it can do to a child’s fragile and developing mind? Our parents may have used these methods because they didn’t know better.  They didn’t have the benefit of science and parenting textbooks to guide them.  Heck!  Even the so-called experts in their day were leading them up the garden path (albeit with good intentions) - consider the numerous doctors who used to promote infant formula over breastmilk!

Why The Science of Parenting? 

Because The Science of Parenting is not based on some doctor’s theory of what she thinks is right, but practical findings from scientific studies of groups of children and how the developing brain works.

Why The Baby Book?

Because William Sears has been a paediatrician for thirty over years, and Martha Sears is a registered nurse and together they have raised eight children of their own.  As health professionals in the field, they have shared the experience of thousands of patients and conducted numerous studies of their own. Being parents of eight children of their own with very different personalities, they are no longer just scientists looking down a microscope and making observations, instead they have first hand experience of what it is like to to practice what they preach.

Had I read these books while I was still pregnant, I would have practiced Attachment Parenting right from day one.  I would have carried Gavin more and not taken so long to accept co-sleeping.  I would have spent more time playing with Gavin and gazing into his eyes instead of watching TV or reading books.  This is because discipline doesn’t begin when your child is old enough to understand you - it begins from day one of your child’s life.

Although the difficulties I currently face with Gavin may have occurred regardless of whether or not I had practiced attachment from day one, there is always going to be a part of me that wonders if he might have been “easier” to handle if I had.  Perhaps he is difficult to manage just because he is like Hayden - the Sears’ fourth child - spirited and determined.  I will never really know.  But just knowing there is another way means I will always keep trying to be a better parent and all I can do is hope that what I do is enough.

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I am sure any parent will attest to the fact that their children always find someone else’s toys more interesting than theirs.  With an attention span that ranges anywhere between 10 seconds and a couple of minutes at best, you can imagine how quickly a toddler can get through his toys in a short play session.  And when he sees the same toys day-in, day-out, he’s bound to go wandering around the house looking for something more interesting.

Aside from constantly buying more toys, what can you do?  Well, the books recommend rotating your toys around.  In other words, hide a few of his toys until he gets bored of the current selection then bring out the toys from hiding and pack away the ones he’s bored of.  After a period of not seeing these toys, they’ll seem brand new all over again to your toddler.

I did just that with Gavin and it worked like a charm. Look at the way he greeted his Elmo hand puppet like a long lost friend…

We bought Elmo for Gavin when he was six months old. We were walking through Toys ‘R’ Us and I put Elmo on my hand and made him play “peekaboo” with Gavin. Gavin was so tickled by Elmo that we decided we had to get it for him even though it was really intended for children ages 3 and above. Elmo eventually lost favour as more toys came into the picture, but it looks like a long leave of absence was just the thing he needed to regain his ranks in Gavin’s book.

Of course, toy rotation can occasionally backfire. For instance, my parents bought the Playskool Ball Popper for Gavin when he was eight months old. Back then, Gavin found great amusement from the music and the popping balls. He would constantly press the red button for more while I scrambled to get the flying balls back into the device.

I hadn’t taken it out to play for a long time since the batteries died and this was the reaction Gavin had when he saw it:

Somehow or other, he developed a fear of flying balls and would start screaming everytime the balls started popping.  The funny thing was that Gavin kept pressing the red button even though he knew it would start the balls popping.

When I took the toy out again today, he seemed eager to see the balls popping but he didn’t want to go too near the toy.  He kept indicating for me to press the red button but when I refused, he would press the button himself and then run for cover before the balls began to pop.  How strange…

Although I said earlier that his attention span is rather short, I have to be quite fair to Gavin - he did sit around long enough to build a few long towers out of his lego pieces and he even helped me build my Lego structure by handing me pieces of Lego.  A little later, he hammered out “Gavin’s Symphony No. 9″ on his Xylophone before getting up to dance to Hi-5. 

Another great way to regain his interest in his toys is to physically play with them.  For some reason, every toy I touch suddenly takes on a whole new light in Gavin’s eyes.  Where he couldn’t give it ten seconds previously, as long as I was playing with it, he would conspire to get his hands on it by sitting on my lap.

On the whole, I’ve come to realise that Gavin’s attention span is pretty decent so long as I don’t wander away too far for too long or he’ll come looking for me.  If I’m sitting with him, engaged in the same activity, he’s even better.  In fact, I would even venture to theorise that Gavin’s improved behaviour recently has something to do with the maid being back and my having more time to sit and play with him.  The last three times it was time to sleep, he didn’t complain when I put him in the carrier and turned out the lights - and when he did complain, it wasn’t particularly vehement. 

I guess a little quality time with Mummy and Daddy does wonders for child discipline after all…

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In The Science of Parenting, Margot Sunderland said that the biggest compliment a child could give a parent is to frequently run back to touch them briefly.  Such actions are known as “emotional refueling” - a child’s need to reconnect with Mummy so that they can continue with their independent activities.

Since the maid went on holiday and I had more chores to do around the house, I was frequently leaving Gavin to entertain himself, albeit under the watchful gaze of my MIL or my SIL.  Even though they were around, I noticed that after a while, Gavin would come looking for me and he would only want me to pick him up.  No one but I could fill his emotional need.

Sometimes, Gavin would only watch TV if I was sitting beside him.  If I got up to go to the kitchen, he would follow me.  Other times, even when I am sitting near him, he will come over to me and climb onto my lap, sit for a while and then he would be off again.  I used to wonder why he wanted to sit on my lap only to jump off again barely a moment later.  Now I realise it is part of the need to reconnect with me.

This behaviour is common among attached-babies.  As they grow up, discover that they are an individual entity separate from Mum, it is a rather scary realisation.  In the process of gaining their independence, babies go through a dependence-independence phase.  The need to return to Mummy to touch her in some way is part of a toddler’s way of learning to be on his own.

From an external point of view, it would appear that attached-babies are more clingy and dependent than their non-attachment-parented counterparts, but the reality is that such bonding helps a child learn to trust and development a stronger, more secure independence in later life.  While they are learning to separate from Mum, they still feel a need to come back to her frequently to reassure themselves that she is always available when help is needed.  When they see that Mummy is there whenever they need her, they become less afraid to venture forwards and explore because they know they can come back whenever life’s problems become too large to cope with on their own.

Babies forced into early independence project the image of being independent children, when in reality, they have learned that even the most important people in their lives are undependable. They learn that they cannot trust anyone and that they have to handle all their problems on their own.  Personally, I think that’s a rather sad way to live and it would break my heart if Gavin felt he couldn’t come to me for help when he needed it. This is one of the primary reasons why I raise Gavin as an attachment-parented child.

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When I told a friend that I had decided that I was going to avoid using smacking as a form of discipline, she gave me the following advice:

She thought I should avoid the pitfall of becoming a textbook Mum and follow my own instincts, citing her case study of her friend, because she felt that smacking was an essential tool to discipline. According to her, her friend’s parents were paediatricians who took the textbook route to looking after her friend when she was a baby and never once smacked her friend while she was growing up. Her friend eventually grew up to be as messed-up a person as there ever could be. When her friend’s parents raised her friend’s sister, they decided to use their own instincts instead and her friend’s sister turned out to be well-balanced and as normal a person as there ever could be.

Naturally, I scoffed at her.  Firstly, there are many textbooks and many different parenting philosophies around. Since she’s talking about her friend who would be about my age, I would say that the textbook philosophies that her friend’s parents followed date back to my parents era and is most likely obsolete by now or at least superceded by new philosophies based on longer term studies and a better understanding of the brain. Secondly, I doubt she has ever read any books on parenting herself since she’s not even a mother, so I think it is a little rich to be criticising something you don’t really understand and stereotyping it as a whole that they are all one and the same.

I, too, have had my share of misconceived ideas on how a child should be raised and I, too, once thought smacking was okay, but that was before I became a mother and started educating myself in the various philosophies of parenting.  I believe that until you become a mother yourself, you will never really know what you will do or which method works best for you.  Though I read books about parenting and follow their advice for guidance, the manner in which I raise Gavin is still the sum of that which I have read and my instincts on how best to apply what I’ve read to the real life situation. 

Although there is a belief that the way we parent our children will largely be derived from the way we were raised as children, I think my last post on the topic says enough of what I thought of my parents’ parenting methods.  I don’t believe that we should follow tradition or the methods our parents employed just because they are supposedly more experienced than we are having raised x number of children who have turned out the way we have and since there is nothing overtly wrong with her, it therefore proves that their methods are the best way to raise a child.  Given the fact that we have access to far more parenting resources than our parents ever did, we owe it to our children to examine those resources and choose the methods of parenting that make the most sense to us.

While some parents may have philosophies that differ from mine, and even if some of those philosophies alarm me because of the harm I believe they can cause to a child, I don’t believe that any parent in their right mind would do anything to deliberately harm their own child.  If such methods are employed, I believe they are done so because of a lack of awareness of the potential damage they can inflict upon that child.  All I can hope is that their children are sufficiently robust on an emotional level not to be affected by CIO or that their parents wisen up to the inadequacies of such parenting methods.

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Whenever I hear about “CIO” (cry-it-out) and mothers using this method to train their babies to sleep on their own, I often get alarmed.  Even though these mothers may be able to boast children that appear to be better behaved and more “independent”, I fear the CIO method of rearing a child can be so emotionally scarring that the effects of it will last even as your child enters adulthood.  That is because CIO teaches a child that when they cry (when they hurt, when they need help), no one will respond to them.  This then translates to a lack of trust or willingness to open up to others because they have learned from an early age that the world cannot be depended upon and everything must be dealt with on their own. 

Why do I feel so strongly about CIO?  Because I was a CIO baby.  I was weaned from birth and spent a large part of my childhood in the care of people other than my parents.  I was looked after by two different aunts, then I went to a home where I only got to see my parents when they visited me on the weekend.  Although my parents met all of my physical needs growing up - they provided food, shelter, and clothing - I was emotionally dry.  I endured the three worst periods of my life alone when I should have gone to them for support and yet I didn’t because I had never asked for their help with anything that really mattered in my life.  Despite how difficult it had been, I couldn’t bring myself to get help from them.  No doubt I would might made different decisions if I had had their support. 

In every essence, I was extremely obedient all the way through school and into University until I finally plucked up the courage to rebel in my final year (though not without enduring a lot of unnecessary emotional turmoil and anguish).  My aunt even told me once that she used to envy my parents for having such “well-behaved” children and wonder why her children weren’t like us.  That was, until she realised how much both my brother and I had kept to ourselves.

In fact, I can’t even take credit for being a good kid.  I believe I never got into any real trouble because I was lucky to be among the right crowds at school (read: I hung out with the goody-two-shoes-nerds).  I never had to face the peer pressure of doing drugs or alcohol and my few encounters with alcohol abuse were among responsible, trustworthy friends who made sure I got home safely.

I don’t blame my parents for the way I was raised - I put it down to the fact that they didn’t know better.  After all, my mother was from an era where even the doctors were encouraging them to wean their babies.  She was encouraged to let us cry it out so we wouldn’t become spoilt.  I was cared for by other people because my mother had to work and couldn’t manage both my brother and me.  I know they regret the parenting decisions they made - there were a few times when my Dad tried to apologise for sending me to that home.  In fact, becoming a parent myself, has been quite therapeutic in its own way because I have learned to put the past behind me and strengthened the relationship I have with my parents.

The one good thing that came out of my childhood was that it made me more determined to get it right with my children.  When I was a teenager, I promised myself that unless I could devote the time necessary to ensure I could be the best mother possible, I would not have children.  This promise is the only thing keeping me from taking up job offers from the headhunters that call me, because I won’t deny that the ambitious part of me would love to take on a regional role and be a corporate high flier.

I know my story is just a study of one - but it is the personal factor that has strongly motivated me to look further into the parenting philosophies available and pick the one that made the most sense to me.  It was Sears, with his years of experience in paediatrics, sharing the experiences of his patients’ parents, learning from them and his own personal experience of having eight children, who seemed to me to be one of the more credible personalities to be handing out parenting advice.  And it is Sears’ view of differing parenting methodologies that explained best my childhood experience and how it affected my later life as an adult.

Though it may be quite draining sometimes to have to handle Gavin all the time on the days where he only wants me, I think it’s worth it.  What’s a few years of his life taken to set up the foundation for a bond in our relationship that will last a lifetime?

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At 1 year and 2 months, Gavin has developed a renewed fondness for Mummy and an apprehensiveness of anyone else that has led a number of comments.  From the tone of their voices, I can pretty much guess that they don’t think this is very healthy, especially when the children of people they know don’t seem to exhibit such clinginess. 

Since I’m one of the few they know who has continued nursing my son past one year, they believe that Gavin’s clinginess is due, in part, to the breastfeeding and possibly because Gavin spends too much time around me.  Perhaps this is the reason why they keep hinting that I should wean him.  I’ve also had some suggestions that I should pan off some responsibility of looking after Gavin to others so that he can get used to being in the company of others.

The question that pops in my mind is: “Why are they so eager for my baby to become independent before he’s even learned how to walk properly?”  Firstly, there’s nothing wrong with extended breastfeeding, in fact it’s beneficial!  Secondly, there’s also nothing wrong with a little bit of clinginess considering Gavin is only just over a year old!  Childhood recapitulates evolution and a healthy instinct is to cling to Mummy because she represents safety from predators.  Our babies don’t know that we have evolved such that predators are no longer other animals that want to eat them, but they are other things that could harm them, like cars.

I really don’t understand this concept of training a baby to be independent because it doesn’t make sense to me.  A baby is born dependent and relies on Mum and Dad to take care of his needs (both physical and emotional) until such time that he is able to fulfil those needs on his own.  The relationship babies have with their Mums and Dads in these early years form the foundation upon which they will base their future relationships.  If parents try too hard to force their babies into a premature independence, they are likely to raise children who become adults that are unable to form close relationships with others. 

In fact, according to Dr Sears, we shouldn’t be trying to teach our children independence.  We should be teaching them about interdependence.  There is a fine balance between dependence and independence and a healthy person should be somewhere in the middle.  Our children need to learn to do things on their own - true - but they also need to know how to turn back and ask for help when life gets tough.  Forcing them prematurely into independence teaches them that they can’t trust anyone and they won’t know how to come back to Mum and Dad for help when they really need it.  I think that old proverb, “No man is an island”, says it best.

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If I could change one thing about the way I parented Gavin from birth, I would have started carrying him in a sling earlier and more often.  At the time he was born, I didn’t know that much about attachment parenting or baby wearing.  I bought a Bjorn baby carrier when I was pregnant and didn’t really research my options in the range of baby carriers/slings that existed in the market.  It wasn’t until I was fully using the Bjorn carrier that I discovered its limitations.

Since then I have tried and tested two other slings and no longer use the Bjorn because my son outgrew its weight limit too quickly.  I found the baby wrap to be the most comfortable for me to carry Gavin around, especially when we went for extended shopping trips. 

Having used the wrap for some six months now, I still find that the wrap is still lacking a few features that would otherwise have made it the perfect carrier.  These were the two main issues I had with the wrap:

1. Being 6 meters long, it wasn’t the most convenient to put on and take off, so I usually had to put it on before heading out. 

2. I could only carry Gavin in two positions - facing in or facing out.  Since I had trouble putting him in facing out while on my own, I usually carried him facing in.  This was fine up until some months back when Gavin found it a nuisance to have to crane his neck every time he wanted to see where we were going.  I started to notice that he prefered to be out of the carrier and would reach for others to carry him whenever I put him into the carrier.

I liked the wrap because it was the only carrier I have used that transfered the weight evenly across the shoulders and the hips, making it very comfortable for extended use.  Aside from the wrap, the only other carrier that balances the weight onto the hips is the Ergo carrier but my gripe with the Ergo is that the fabric is very thick and much too hot for a tropical climate.

Recently, I discovered a new baby sling, called Baby K’tan, that combines all the comforts of the wrap with a great variety of carrying styles - 8 different positions to be specific.  What I liked most was the ability to carry baby on the side - a position I find that Gavin enjoys.  Unlike the ring sling that I have taken to using in recent times, the Baby K’tan doesn’t have that annoying ring buckle that digs into my shoulder and presses a nerve that makes my arm feel numb (the rings are behind my shoulder in the picture below).

Plus, the new baby sling’s side carry still uses both shoulders so you aren’t reliant on one shoulder to bear the full weight of your baby - definitely much more comfortable for Mummy!

What I really like about the Baby K’tan as well is the funky fabrics they come in and the cute matching beanies.  Check out the camouflage and tie-dye designs:

Since you can also carry baby from birth with the Baby K’tan, I think I might get one of these for my next baby.  I’ll add it to my wishlist, so hint, hint, anyone, you’ll know what to get me for a present!  And if you want to know where you can get one, check this page.  Oh, by the way, I’d like the camouflage, just in case you’re wondering. 

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When I was pregnant with Gavin, I confess I didn’t know anything about baby carriers, baby wearing nor had I even heard of attachment parenting until I read about it on my BFF’s blog. Even then I don’t think the concept of attachment parenting really sank in until Gavin was born and I started to care for him.

I bought my Bjorn baby carrier on the advice of my BFF and have never regretted it once. The carrier was a Godsend especially since we had a baby who hated his pram. Although the hubby secretly thinks we spoilt him when we failed to “train” him to sit in the pram, I like to think that Gavin just happens to be one of those babies who dislikes sitting in a pram. Nevertheless, after reading up on attachment parenting and the many benefits of baby wearing, I’m glad I never “trained” (read: cry-it-out) Gavin to sit in his pram.

Baby Wearing – Great for Mom, Wonderful for Baby

As a pro-attachment parenting Mom, I believe that babies are meant to be carried close to Mommy or a carer. Since a sling offers the flexibility to carry baby while performing other tasks, I feel it is one of the best inventions ever. I’m obviously not the only one who thinks so because Gavin agrees, too. From the first day he sat in his carrier (he was just a few days past one month), Gavin has loved being in the carrier. You just have to look at the smile on his face in the photo below to see that he felt right at home in his Bjorn carrier:

My friend CC also related a story about her daughter and her hubby’s experience with the sling. Her daughter normally fusses the moment she has soiled her diaper. One afternoon, her hubby took her daughter for a walk in the carrier. Her daughter was so happy in the carrier that she endured a poopy diaper without a fuss. Clearly, her enjoyment of being in the sling outweighed her discomfort from a soiled diaper.

Carriers and Slings – Which is the Best?

Individual preferences vary and only you will know which one is most comfortable for you and your baby.  Having used three different slings and carriers with Gavin who is soon to be one year old and still happy to be in a carrier, here are my thoughts on each one that I personally own and use. 

Baby Bjorn – Active

Weight Limit: 3-12kgs
Comfort: Average – weight distribution over two shoulders and some to the back. After a couple of hours, it starts to feel like I’ve been hiking with a 10kg day-pack.
Ways of Carrying: Two.

Forward facing (great for older babies):

Inward facing (great for newborns and young babies or an older baby that’s sleepy):

Pros: minimal learning curve. Easily adjusted so you can breastfeed baby in the carrier on either breast.
Cons: low weight limit, leg holes are quite tight (when you have a chubby baby with thunder thighs, it tends to impede circulation to the feet), although the weight is distributed over two shoulders, the lack of padding makes it uncomfortable after a while.
Availability: I got mine from The First Few Years in Paragon, Singapore.
Price: about RM600 (you can get the basic model without the lumbar support for about RM200 ).

Ring Sling

Weight Limit: 30kgs – so you can even carry a toddler
Comfort: Poor – weight distribution over one shoulder. It doesn’t take long for my arm to feel numb. Not a practical method of carrying baby if you intend to do some serious shopping.
Ways of Carrying: Four – forward facing, inward facing, sleeping, on the back.
Pros: very versatile – many ways to carry baby, good weight limit. Easy to put on and carry around.
Cons: has a bit of a learning curve to get used to it, and can’t carry baby for extended periods of time. You can only breastfeed baby on one side.
Availability: I got mine from Bambino in SS2 (the shop above the jewellery shops), but I’ve seen it sold in Anakku for a LOT cheaper.
Price: RM50-RM180 depending on which brand you buy

Wrap

Weight Limit: Not mentioned.
Comfort: Very comfortable for both Mummy and baby. It distributes weight evenly over both shoulders and hips.
Ways of Carrying: Two

Forward facing:

Inward facing:

Pros: the snug fit is great for young babies because it micmics the womb, you can breastfeed a younger baby discreetly by tucking the head under one of the straps . Very comfortable, even if you have a heavy baby.
Cons: has a steep learning curve. Difficult to breastfeed an older child while in the sling. Messy to take off and put on.
Availability: Baby Bunting. You can also buy it online directly from Hug-a-bub. The Ellaroo wrap is also similar in design and concept but using a different fabric.
Price: Hug-a-bub costs A$110 – rather steep for something that is basically just a piece of fabric.  The one seen in the pictures above is home-made.  I’ll show you how to make your own in the next post. 

What’s the Verdict?

Personally, I like the Hug-a-Bub best.  I find it the most comfortable both for baby and Mummy. 

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