Getting Past the Terrible Twos

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Gavin’s second birthday approaches and with his rapidly expanding vocabulary, I find it a lot easier to manage him these days. The terrible twos don’t appear to be as much of a problem as it was before and I am seriously convinced they should reconsider calling it the “Onerous Ones”.

Many of the difficulties I used to have with Gavin seem to be a lot easier to manage these days. It might be because he now has the language to tell me what he wants or because I have learned how to manage him. Maybe I’ve just gotten used to it or perhaps it’s just a little bit of everything.

For instance, I don’t even have to bribe him to get into the carseat these days. It has been a long time since I’ve been stressed about taking him out. I no longer worry about whether he’ll get into the car if he’s past two hours after waking or worry about having to comply with the car seat rules for a happy toddler. I don’t fret if he’s been out for a while and starting to feel sleepy. Point blank, he doesn’t fuss at all when I put him in his car seat. I never thought I’d ever see the day.

There are really two major parts to the terrible twos:

1. The inability to communicate what they want and to be understood which leads to frustration.
2. The desire to express autonomy in making own decisions.

Gavin’s rapidly expanding vocabulary has pretty much eliminated the frustration of not being understood. The only time he becomes inarticulate is when he’s too upset to think clearly about what he’s trying to say.

Although he still wants to make his own decisions about things, I can see that he’s quite happy to compromise and change things slightly to gain some autonomy over what happens in his life. For instance, when I want him to take a bath, he’ll say he doesn’t want to, however, he’ll say he wants to take his trains to the bath as a means of altering the situation so he feels some measure of control over what happens.

I’ve also learned a couple of tricks that help facilitate the process. It all boils down to knowing your toddler, what makes him tick and how to approach the issues in a way he finds acceptable. For instance, Gavin is quite particular about cleanliness. When he refuses to take a bath, all I need to do is show him a smudge or a bit of dirt on his person and he’ll come willingly. It is only when he thinks he’s clean that he’ll ask, “Why?” when I tell him he needs to bathe.

He still occasionally needs a bribe or two to get out of the shower. Alternatively, I let him stay in there until he’s ready to come out. But, in general, I feel there have been less screams of frustration now than there were a few months back. At least I no longer feel the strong urge to bang my head against the wall or hide under the covers like I did whenever Gavin decided he was just going to be plain difficult.

They say that the terrible twos can last up to the age of three. Well, Gavin’s almost two and I’d say it has waned off considerably. I really believe it has a lot to do with communication. My personal tip, if you want to get through the terrible twos as quickly as possible is this:

From birth, focus first on language acquisition. Everything else can come later. Communication is the key to a happy toddler. One great way of starting to build your baby’s vocab is Signing Time. It doesn’t necessarily eliminate the terrible twos completely, but it certainly helps you get through it more quickly.

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Other posts that might interest you:

• The Fallacy of the Terrible Twos
• The Terrible Twos Strike Again?
• Welcome to the Terrible Twos
• A Tip for When Your 1 Year Old Refuses to Sleep…
• More Toddler Humour

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