Oct 24 2008

October is Attachment Parenting Month

Posted by Shen-Li in Parenting
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October is Attachment Parenting Month. Okay, so October is nearing to an end and I’m kind of late to be blogging about it, but being an AP Mum, I felt I should write something about it. Although I participated in the AP Carnival of Presence, I submitted an old post I had written about why I decided to become an AP Mum so I guess that one doesn’t really count.

I was glad to note, however, that I am already practicing some of the Calender of Presence activities unconsciously with Gavin, such as:

hugging Gavin ten times a day for no reason
holding hands as much as possible
working on an art project together - Gavin tells me which train to draw, I draw it and then he adds colour to the picture
creating a family memory book to commemorate time spent together (well, it’s a continuous work in progress…)
just hang out and do nothing together
making eye-contact when I speak to Gavin
observing Gavin and writing down all the wonderful things I see (well, I take note and tell hubby, my MIL, my SILs or anyone else that cares to listen all about it)

I think the main benefits of being an AP Mum – at least for me anyway – is that it helps me “know” my son. I get a sense for things that I don’t think I would otherwise have if I werent practicing AP. And by being present (such as when I spend time drawing trains with Gavin), I can get him to cooperate with me when I need him to do something he doesn’t like doing, like changing his diaper.

“If you want me to draw more trains for you, you have to help Mummy change your diaper.”

Gavin doesn’t usually cooperate when he sets his mind against it. He’s also immune to bribes when he really doesn’t want to do a certain thing. So to be able to “talk” him into agreeing to do something is a pretty big thing.

Because I’m not a particularly sensitive person (I once sat next to my girlfriend for five minutes before I realised she was crying!), I find I really need the physical and emotional closeness to Gavin to really understand him. If I weren’t an AP Mum, Gavin and I would be banging heads so often, we’d both be having a perpetual headache. So I guess you could say I’m really glad I found out about attachment parenting – thanks to my BFF who is one of the few AP Mums I know, but thanks to Attachment Parenting International, I now know a lot more.

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