Preventing Meltdowns with Adequate Vigorous Play Time

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After such a great day yesterday, I was rather taken-aback when Gavin started acting up today.  To be fair, he was pretty good for most of the day.  The disintegration of his good behaviour started just before dinner time.

Upon reflection, I think the meltdown was due to a lack of vigorous play.  We spent most of the day indoors doing mostly sedate activities which I’m sure must be quite frustrating for a toddler who’s rearing to go.  As a result, I felt more inclined to cut him some slack for his poor performance at dinner time.

After having two such contrasting days to line up side by side, I guess it is clear that being able to run around freely (like what he did in Playland yesterday) does wonders for Gavin.  Not only was it much easier for me to get him to sleep for his afternoon nap, but he was so well behaved the whole day that he was such a joy to be around.

As for his food consumption, he didn’t do too badly.  He ate pretty well up until dinner time – which was when everything fell apart.  So is it safe to say that when Gavin gets adequate vigorous play time, he behaves better, sleeps better and eats better?  Well, it certainly looks that way, and since the rewards are great for both Gavin and me, I guess it is in my best interest to make sure he gets a daily dose of it.

Even if I’m wrong about the correlation, the exercise is good for both of us…

Oh, I should also add…

Sometimes, there’s a meltdown just because it’s a bad day.

As adults, we all know what it’s like when we have a bad day.  Sometimes, we’re rational about and we handle things well, sometimes we don’t.  But unlike a toddler, at least we have a fully-functioning higher brain and the benefit of experience to help us control our emotions.  Even then we still stumble over them, so imagine how it must be to a toddler who hasn’t got the benefit of experience or the ability to rationalise what he’s going through.

The bottom line is, sometimes you just have to cut your toddler some slack and recognise true distress when your toddler throws a tantrum.  A good way to check is to ask yourself two questions:

1. Is he crying with tears? True distress is marked with real tears as opposed to “crocodile tears” which is when your child “cries without tears”.  If I can see tears, I’ll pick him up and hold him.

2. Does your child answer back?  True distress is marked with a loss of comprehension and a lack of ability to respond to your words.  If your child can articulate himself and reply to your questions, that’s a pretty good sign that he’s being manipulative.

Gavin’s still a little young to answer back, but I notice he’ll glare back at me when he’s articulate.  I generally ignore tantrums with fake crying and I take no nonsense when he gives me that “look”.  When he dissolves into genuine tears, I pick him up and hold him.  And when in doubt, I still hold him anyway.  I figure I can always discipline later, but it’s harder to make up for abandoning him when he is really in need.

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