Is it just me or did my toddler come out with an extra burst of defiance/anger/frustration the moment he turned 18 months?  In the past couple of weeks, he’s been driving me to my wits end with his inexplicable howls of fury.  I suppose this is what they mean when they said the terrible twos peak at 18 months.

Occasionally, I can determine the cause, even if I can’t figure out what to do to calm the storm.  For instance, he was playing with a set of blocks recently.  It is a cylindrical container divided into half with the coloured blocks on one side and the uncoloured blocks on the other.  Gavin decided to move all the coloured blocks into the same side as the uncoloured blocks.  When the blocks started over flowing and falling out of the container, he got so mad he threw the blocks and started screaming in frustration.  When I tried to help him he got even angrier.

Another time, he woke up in the middle of the night with a blocked nose.  He started crying because he couldn’t breathe.  This has happened before when he was younger but he would usually go back to sleep after I carrying him upright and pat his back.  Lately, he works himself up to a crying fit that makes it worse because his nose starts to run and further blocks his airway.

His reactions have become excessive and he blows up a storm over what appears to be the most minor issues.  It has been terribly trying and although I start off trying to console him, I find myself losing my temper and yelling back at times.  The yelling back makes me feel a little better but it really doesn’t help Gavin at all because it just makes him more hysterical.

Although I have been getting parenting advice by well-wishing onlookers that I should reign in my highly spirited child before all this gets out of hand, the recent Baby Center newsletter I received in my mail indicates that temper tantrums at this age are all part of the norm.  The cause of it is many-fold but there are ways to help minimise the number of storms or at least reduce their severity:

1. Hunger can increase a child’s likelihood of having a meltdown so always make sure you have snacks on hand.
2. Fatigue can be a cause for a shorter fuse than normal.
3. Under-stimulation - a child who is bored is more likely to get up to something.
4. Balance off your negative moments by creating more positive moments - i.e. take your child to the park where he can run wild without you having to tell him off for every little thing his curiosity gets the better of.  Having more “fun” sessions with your child will also help - for instance, playing hide and seek, chase, rough and tumble, etc.
5. Give your child advance warning by telling him what’s going to happen rather than springing surprises on him.  I noticed when we told Gavin what was going to happen, he usually behaved a lot better than if we tried to slip one past him.  For instance, we told him we were going out without him because Mummy needed to see the doctor, rather than trying to sneak out of the house without him.  Whenever we’re out, I now pre-empt him that we’re going to go home and he usually takes it pretty well.
6. Engage your child with simple decisions involving two choices (offering too many options will confuse your toddler) - e.g. do you want to wear the blue shoes or the brown ones?
7. Allow your toddler to help whenever possible.  There’s an added advantage to this, too - in my case, I have a handy little rubbish disposer who saves me having to walk to the bin.

As they say, every child is different and every situation is different, but I think I’m starting to make some headway when it comes to managing Gavin’s stormy outbursts.

Popularity: 5% [?]