Now here’s a tough debate…
I’ve generally been of a mind to “mind my own business” and let others do as they please, but circumstances have placed me in positions where I have been called to make a stand.
The first, which I wasn’t present, but the hubby observed, was when Gavin was at the book shop. An older child around 5 years old was browsing books at a bookshelf. Gavin went over to look at the same books and was pushed away by the older child. Not to disheartened, Gavin went to look for his own bookshelf. Shortly after, the older child came over to Gavin’s bookshelf and Gavin pushed the boy away.
Let me first clarify that I don’t condone pushing, although I am secretly pleased to note that my son can hold his own. But at the same time, had I been there to witness the older child pushing my son in the first place, I would have stepped up to say something. Likewise, I would have told Gavin that it was not right to push the older child back.
In the second incident, Gavin and I were sitting in a ball pit. There was a slide that ended in the ball pit and some girls were playing on it. After a while, they found it a little boring sliding down the slide and decided they wanted to climb up the slide. The nature of the slide design was such that a person coming down the slide can’t see that someone is attempting to climb up the slide, so attempting to climb up the slide is not a very safe thing to do.
Since the girls were quite old and more than capable of holding their own, I didn’t intervene. After a while, a toddler saw what they were doing and he wanted to copy their actions. At the same time, one of the staff came and told the girls to play somewhere else because it was not safe. The boy continued to attempt to climb the slide. Since the staff member couldn’t reach the boy in time, I went over and told him it was time to go and picked him up.
Now these are two rather situations that are rather black and white. If the child is about to get hurt or is going to hurt someone else or if they are going to damage property, tend discipline is clearly necessary. But what about situations that are gray? Would you say something or mind your own business?
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And I get to buy toys indiscriminately on the pretext of getting them for Jack! lol!
It’s difficult to know exactly what ‘gray area’situations may come up.
I think you are right to intervene with other people’s children:- if they are in a dangerous or potentially dangerous situation.
- If they are putting another child at risk.
-If their behavior is threatening or stops you or your own child enjoying what you are doing.
- If you are in your own home and they are breaking house rules.
This doesn’t mean the child’s parents will react favorably, but at least you will know you have done the right thing.
Here’s an example:
A friend told me that while they were on holiday in Australia recently they came across a group of 3 boys excitedly shaking an octopus around in a bucket. Bad enough that they were terrorising a sea creature, but even a quick glance told my friend that it was a deadly blue ringed octopus. She grabbed the bucket from the boys, explained what it was and how dangerous it was. She started to take the octopus in the bucket to the far end of the beach to let it go in some rock pools there. The children’s mother raced up, grabbed my friend and stopped her. My friend was please to explain the situation to a responsible adult. But, instead of being grateful, the mother proceded to verbally and physically abuse my friend insisting that she didn’t care “if the thing was poisonous or not, it was theirs”.
So there’s no pleasing some people.
Thanks for your feedback, Nerida. Personally, if it were my child playing with something dangerous, I would be grateful to anyone who stepped in. Even if it hadn’t been something dangerous, I still think - “Better safe than sorry.”
At least your friend can rest easy knowing she did the right thing rather than feel ill at ease for not having stepped in if one of the boys had been stung by the octopus.
I think one of the hardest thing to deal with is knowing that you stood by and watched something bad happen when you know you could have done something to prevent it.
[...] time back I wrote about post about whether we should discipline someone else’s child. Although I found the topic a difficult one at the end, I concluded that it was okay so long as [...]