A couple of nights ago, we had another one of those “difficult nights”.  An over-tired and super cranky Gavin launched into a very long and very loud crying fit that had the whole house on edge.

The Background

Gavin has a tendency to wake up in the morning before receiving his full 10-12 hours of sleep a night.  Usually to help him clock in the hours, I will keep him upstairs and let him play a little while before trying to nurse or rock him back to sleep. 

One evening, the hubby suggested I take him downstairs instead of letting him go back to sleep.  I immediately debunked his suggestion and told him that if I took Gavin downstairs, he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep until his nap time and he would forever be playing “catch up” on his sleep.  Since sleep is a child’s time for putting in order the things he has learned during the day, I felt it extremely important that Gavin gets adequate quantities of sleep regardless of how we managed it.  At this age, adequate is 10-12 hours of sleep a night, plus at least one 2-3 hours nap in the afternoon.

What Happened

One morning Gavin woke up at 7am (after falling asleep at about 11pm the night before).  By 8am, he still hadn’t gone back to sleep.  Feeling bad for thrashing the hubby’s suggestion some evenings previously, I decided to try what he suggested and bring him downstairs to play for a bit (hoping I could help him make up for the lack of sleep during his day time nap).

Gavin played for a while and went up for another nap at 11am.  He woke up at 12:30pm.  My SIL2 and I took him shopping.  I hoped the shopping excursion would wear him out sufficiently to take a second nap later in the afternoon (given that Gavin hasn’t had two naps in the day in quite a long while and sometimes pushes 6 hours plus between nap and bedtime).

When we got home, he refused to sleep (it was about 4pm).  Rocking and nursing failed to get him off to bed.  It was 5:30pm when I decided to give up and let him have an early night.  When he went back downstairs, he was running around like a mad boy, squealing with delight and joy as he played with our maid and my SIL2.  Everything seemed to be going well.

By dinner time, he was clearly getting tired.  Hubby took him up to bathe - he wailed all the way through.  By the time hubby passed Gavin to me to nurse to sleep, Gavin’s eyes were almost shut.  He fell asleep in record time and all was well (it was about 7:30pm).

8:15pm, Gavin woke up crying.  The crying escalated to inconsolable screaming wails.  I offered my breast, he rejected it.  I carried him around the room, rocking and patting him but he wouldn’t calm down.  After a while, I could make out a hiccoughing request for “milk”, so I offered him my breast.  I soon realised that he couldn’t drink because his nose was blocked and that made him even more upset.  He launched into a fresh bout of screeching wails while I tried to rock him and soothe him.

At about this point, the hubby said in a rather calm voice, “You should manage his day better.”

With Gavin’s wailing in the background, I wasn’t sure I heard him right.  “What?”  I asked.

He repeated himself.

I couldn’t believe it.

Note to all the Dads out there reading this blog post (or Mums, if Dad is the stay-home parent):

1. Please don’t insult us mothers by stating the obvious.  The fact that Gavin’s misery was brought upon by a lack of sleep was clearly evident.  It doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out. 

2. If you must insist on making such comments, please find a more appropriate time to do so. When the baby is wailing at the top of his voice is NOT and appropriate time.

The Solution

We took Gavin downstairs, turned on Playhouse Disney and let him watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  He was a lot better after that.  His nose had also cleared up, so that by the time we took him back upstairs, he was able to nurse again.

The Conclusion

Unfortunately for me, after nursing, he stayed up until 11:30pm, albeit in a much improved disposition.

While some toddlers manage to thrive regardless of the amount of sleep they get, Gavin, evidently, is not one of those toddlers.  Needless to say, I will not be bringing him downstairs until he has clocked an adequate amount of sleep for a “night” as this experience has merely served to reinforce the fact that there is no such thing as “catch up” sleep during nap time - at least, not where Gavin is concerned.

The other thing I’ve learned is that when it comes to mothering a child - mother does indeed know best.  So Mums - trust your own instincts, even if it goes against what everyone else tells you.  You are the one who spends the most time with your child - it naturally stands to reason that you will know your child best.

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