They call it the “terrible twos” but really it should be called the “onerous ones” or perhaps the “obstinate ones”.  Is it because of this misnomer that a lot of parents relate their harrowing stories of defiant toddlers to having begun when their child turned two?  Because that is what I hear from a lot of parents when it comes to their children - “Oh, the day she hit two - that was when all hell broke lose!”

Naturally, I was alarmed when Gavin was already showing signs of the terrible twos shortly after his first birthday.  I mean, if this isn’t the terrible twos then I would really hate to see what Gavin’s terrible twos have in store for me. 

In case you’re wondering whether I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, let me relate to you a few typical scenes with Gavin and you tell me whether you agree or not:

• He loves water, he loves to swim and he loves playing with water in the bath, yet, when it’s bath time, he flat out refuses to get into the bath.  When it’s all over, he refuses to get out and insists he’s not done. 

All my little tactics to get him out of the bath calmly have worked with limited results (as in, they work a few times until he catches on to the trick and then he starts backing away from me because he’s figured out what happens next).  When we take him out, he doesn’t just protest, he screams like someone’s trying to kill him (as his Daddy would describe it).

• When it’s bedtime, he does everything possible to stall.  For instance, he’ll ask for a sip of water which ends up being like 10 sips. When all his little tricks fail, he’ll turn those pleading eyes for some hapless family member to rescue him from the evil clutches of Mummy who’s about to put a stop to all his fun. 

Upstairs in our room, he’ll make signs that he wants to poop but when I put him on the toilet, nothing will come out.  When I make to take him off the toilet, he’ll start making grunting noises again as if he’s trying to poop.  I suspect the toilet trick is just to get the lights back on, especially when you consider that he never wants to sit on the toilet during the day.

Then he’ll ask for music but the only music he wants to listen to is Baby Signing Time.  When I play the music, he starts to dance like a mad boy and he signs like he never signs during the day.  He is simply adorable to watch until you remember that it’s actually bed time and it is now an hour after the time you were originally planning to put him to bed.

Luckily for my sanity, I discovered that the terrible twos can actually begin any time after the first birthday and sometimes even before.  So there really is a reason why my toddler gives me a hard time and I’m not prematurely balding as I yank my hair out in frustration over nothing.

As much as I had originally planned not to give Gavin any negative labels, it would appear that some undesirable labels have already stuck.  For instance, the hubby calls him LS (read: little sh*t) when he wakes up at 5am in the morning and starts bouncing around on the bed.  Whenever Gavin disobeys or does anything undesirable, he’s LS.  As much as I hate to label him so, when you’re sleep deprived with a squealing toddler bouncing off the walls like he’s high on speed and giggling to himself as he causes you no end of pain, it’s kinda hard.

Ironically, when we were at Tanjong Jara for a recent family holiday, aside from adoring his cuteness, a number of people told us how well-behaved they thought Gavin was.  Whenever we received one of these comments, the hubby would be like, “Huh?  Oh wait a minute, that’s because you haven’t seen him at home.”

Even though our view on Gavin might have been tainted by our private experiences of his temper at home, I have to admit, Gavin is pretty well behaved in public company.  In fact, I would go so far as to say he makes a rather gracious host.  He clearly adores being the center of attention and sometimes he even goes looking for it, trying to catch the eye of the cashier while wearing his most winsome smile.  Just to seal the deal, he’ll blow a kiss before we leave the shop.

Last night, while we were having dinner at a restaurant, Gavin was smiling and talking babble to some of the waitresses while we ate.  He kept gesturing to the food on our table and signing the word “eat” almost as if to say, “Come, come, join us!  Eat, eat!”  Aside from that, he readily signs “please” when he wants something and “thank you” when we prompt him.  “Sorry” is a little harder to come by but he still signs it after a little bit of cajoling.  Now how can I not be proud of my son’s public relations and social skills?

I guess one of the good things about taking Gavin out and speaking to strangers about him is that it helps us regain some perspective on our toddler’s behaviour and manners.

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